


Problem Major

by MyChem_Horrormones



Category: LeATHERMØUTH, My Chemical Romance
Genre: A bit of homophobic action, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Anxiety, Bullying, Closeted Character, Confusion, Hurt, Jealousy, M/M, Multi, Not Beta Read, Underage Drinking, bully!frank, douchebags, first fic, fucktards, idk seriously, lots of insults, lots of swearing, lunchtime is an important time, mentions of weed, not really a bully, overreacting, some violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-02
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-02-23 15:31:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 23,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2552591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyChem_Horrormones/pseuds/MyChem_Horrormones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard's got this problem-- It's not one of those, "I forgot my homework at home" kind of problem, nor one of those, "I got jizz all over my ugly school slacks, shit" kind of problem... It's worse.</p><p>And he's not overreacting.</p><p>(There may be some violence in this story, which might be triggering for some, but it's not overly graphic)</p><p><strong>Update!</strong> This story is also now on Wattpad, under the same username!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So this is my first fic, and I have to say it's quite... random??  
> I wrote this during class on paper, underneath my textbook, with a pencil  
> So this is a work from my really bored and random thoughts I get during class, but I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Also, I'm uploading this with my PHONE, which isn't very convenient right now, so I apologize for any spelling problems and grammar mistakes!  
> (My English has gotten rusty ever since I moved from the states. ugh)

Gerard has a problem.

A huge problem.

It was not one of those,"I forgot my homework at home" kind of problem, nor one of those "I got jizz all over my ugly school slacks, shit" kind of problem. In fact, those problems were just puny little ants compared to Gerard's problem. And he was not overreacting.

_Oh, here he comes._

Gerard peeked from behind his open locker door and saw capital H.I.M making his way down the hall, moving quickly, a stern look on his face that made Gerard's skin crawl. He turned back to his locker, squeezing his eyes shut, preparing himself; when hands gripped on his shoulders, flipped him around, making his back slam against the lockers with a huge thunk.The hands gripped onto his collar.

"Why, hello there, freak." capital H.E. spat, eyes glaring straight into Gerard's. Gerard stared straight back into those brown orbs, panting slightly. 

God, did Frank have gorgeous eyes.

Frank growled, low in his throat, and rammed his knee into Gerard's upper thigh. _Oh god oh god oh god_ Gerard's mind raced, feeling the sharp knee digging into his thigh, dangerously close to his dick. _Why did he have to turn a situation like this so sexually?_ Screw his teenage mind and those god-be-damned hormones. Fuck, his thigh was starting to hurt. Frank pulled back his knee; and as Gerard expected it it rammed back into his thigh and started doing that repeatedly, each ram with full force. Gerard groaned, growing limp, with only Frank's hands holding him up. His knee grew slower, but still very forceful.

"P...Pleasee.. F..F..Frank...s...top..." Gerard choked out, as he slid on the floor. A foot landed on his chest and pushed him back against the lockers again, where his back slammed against once more.

"Piss off." Frank muttered, and walked away. Gerard laid on the cold tiles, trying hard to blink back tears that were threatening to fall, ignoring the humiliation of all the other kids in the hallway who were now looking at him as he looked ahead at Frank, who just rounded the corner. He picked himself off the ground, limping against the metal doors, a pain in his heart more painful than the ache in his thigh.

-

"Dude, what happened?" Ray asked, eyeing Gerard. Gerard's pretty sure his posture was a mess; but on the good side, there were no bruises on his face. Hurray for not having to waste any concealer. He sighed, and sat down in a crappy plastic chair, on the opposite side of Ray and Bob at the table, who were watching him intently.

"It's nothing-I just got pushed." He rubbed a hand on his left thigh, which was now twitching and most-likely, bruised.

"Who did it again?" Bob slammed a fist on the table, making a plate of soggy green beans jump. "It's that, Frank, isn't it?!"

"He's a fucking douche!"

Both Ray and Bob's eyes were like vultures, voice dripping with anger. Gerard's heart bounced and he flailed a little.

"No no, guys, guys," He shook his head quickly. "Yeah, it was him, Frank, but calm down. It really wasn't anything. He didn't do much of a harm; I just got pushed against the lockers, that was all."

"That was all? That couldn't have been a 'that was all,' Gerard." Ray pinched the bridge of his nose. "You know that bullying isn't a joke. You can't just say, 'that was all.'" Bob nodded.

"Gerard we've seen how you walk weirdly and we've seen your bruises, man. You're my best fucking friend, and I can't just sit here and watch that _dick_ do all these things to you."

"You've seen me walk weirdly, I could've had just gotten laid?"

Ray rolled his eyes in a total _Are you fucking kidding me_ way.

"Frank needs to be reported."

" _No_ , guys come on." Gerard protested, his gut twisting up. "I'm alive and well and really fucking okay. Let's just drop this topic and enjoy today's ravioli, okay? Mmhm, looks nice." He swiftly picked up a soggy, dripping ravioli with his fork, arching an eyebrow. Ray and Bob just looked at him.

"Alive, yes, but well and okay, not exactly." Bob pointed out, but ate a bite of ravioli anyways. Gerard shoved the one on his fork into his mouth, trying to shut up his screaming mind. _What the hell was he doing?_

"Gee, there's no need to protect Frank. He's a fucking. piece. of. shit. He bullies you! Almost every single day!" Ray's arms were flailing around, like they were also trying to have their own word.

"Somebody needs to say _something_ about his ugly ass face!"

 _Is not!_ Gerard almost blurted out, but he shoved two pieces of ravioli in his mouth just in time before it slipped. Yeah, let the marinara sauce wash it away. 

"I'm not trying to protect him," Gerard protested after swallowing. "Like hell would I want to with that prick." _Oh but he so was._ His heart thudded harder. 

"But he really didn't hurt me too much. Maybe some bruises, but those can disappear within days with a couple of ice packs. See, you guys are my best friends too, and I don't want to see you guys, maybe, getting hurt when he didn't do much. I don't want you guys risking yourselves." Gerard bit his lip at how well put that came out. Great.

Ray looked extremely unconvinced, and sighed, flipping his food around. Bob was silent too.

"Fuck, fine." Ray said at last, setting his fork down. "If you do say so, Gerard." He shook his head. "It's not right, but we'll hold back."

"But if he _ever_ does get blood out or break your bones or anything more than bruises, we're calling the fucking cops."

Gerard's heart somehow calmed down and he let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks guys," he said, offering a small smile. "I'll be fine. I swear."  
He was done with talking about him and Frank so he changed the topic. "Video games tonight?"

The tension around the table eased and Ray and Bob both crack out smiles.

"Heck yeah!" Bob fist pumped. "I call first player!"  
Gerard rolled his eyes, because who the fuck still fights over first player?

They may have ended that discussion, but Gerard's brain was still replaying and screaming about it. _Gee, there's no need to protect Frank, he bullies you!_ Ray had said. Was he trying to protect Frank? From getting in trouble? From getting reported? Gerard mentally shook his head. But he can't really imagine Frank getting reported and having the possibility of getting kicked out of school. That was just.... no.

Everybody, by means of Ray and Bob saw Frank as a sack of shit. Truth is; Gerard saw Frank as a sack of shit with a _really, really, hot face._

And that, was Gerard's problem.

He was in love with a bully.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another moment between the two boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, I sincerely apologize for not updating for so long! My exams are finally over for now and so I've finally found a chance to update (urrrgh)  
> And I apologize if the next update will also take a little while (not as long as 2 month, I SWEAR) I'm in charge of designing our yearbook and a whole bunch of other shit, so feel free to scream at me in the comments if it's too long!  
> Also, about the tags; I will be changing them as the story goes. (Just a heads up)  
> Anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter, comments and kudos are GREATLY appreciated!

Frank had started bullying Gerard ever since they both first stepped into their school, which was two years ago. And it wasn't until a while ago Gerard started noticing how plump Frank's lips were, and the little tiny hole beneath his bottom lip that would only mean he wore a lip ring that could be seen when he got close to him; his giggles, how he walked and spoke and ate, and his nose; which Gerard would normally just take as a _normal nose_ and ignore, had suddenly turned so stare-worthy and cute Gerard was itching to give it an _World's Cutest Nose_ award. And it wasn't until lately Gerard had gotten hit with the realization that he had been really, really liking with what he was noticing; really, really liking that what he was noticing was noticing _him_ , even if it involved a few bruises and sore backs.

Did Gerard have a thing for pain? He carefully steered away from that question that randomly appears in his mind from time to time, like junk mail in his inbox.

Frank wasn't the only bully in the school. He was far from being 'the one.' There were larger groups of bullies, with a scroll of victims the size of a roll of toilet paper. Frank did his things alone, and kept things low. Gerard had never seen him bully anyone else before, except for him. (Which he felt extremely giddy about, but doesn't dare to show.)

Gerard usually didn't mind the usual shit he had to deal with at school, but not today. Today he was tired and cranky. He did not want to be here, didn't want to be _anywhere_ , especially without coffee in his system. (His mom had forgotten to pick up some during her grocery shopping, which had resulted in Gerard staring at the empty spot in the cabinet for five whole minutes) His hair had gotten flipped everywhere by the early autumn breeze, his nose runny and he felt like shit. He looked like shit. He was wearing those itchy wool sweaters for god's sake.The way his sneakers were squeaking on the ugly, yellowish-white tiles was pissing him off.

He sighed as he threw his locker open, grabbed his books, and slammed it close. Ray and Bob were nowhere to be seen. He flipped out his phone and checked the time. Five minutes left before the bell rang. They were most likely in class already. He plugged in his set of earphones and scrolled through the songs in his playlist, stopping at the little white letters that read "Fifth Period Massacre."

 _The perfect song_ , he thought, and hit play right away.

The song was by some local band named Leathermouth and Gerard had accidentally found it the other day, the song name immediately drawing him in. It was raw, and he definitely loved the lyrics. Despite not being able to completely understand what the lead singer was screaming he still found himself blasting it through his earphones every day, especially on crappy days like today.

Gerard walked down the halls with his books and phone in hand, nodding along to the song he's playing way too loudly for his ears. Screw the school rules, he needed this right now. The song was as powerful as usual; yet Gerard still found his eyelids getting heavier and droopier, his thoughts getting lost in a sleepy haze. He may have let his eyes close for too long as he tried to blink off his drowsiness, because the next second he's crashing straight into someone.

"Fuck!" the other guy cursed, holding his arm, because that was where Gerard's books had jabbed him. Gerard didn't hear though, his earphones were still in his ears. He crouched onto the floor, picking up papers that had flew everywhere, a string of apologies flying out of his mouth. _Great_ , he thought, mournfully. The most wonderful start to a potentially crappy day.

He plucked out one of his earphones standing up, and his heart thumped so hard he felt like he just got punched.

Of course, he just _had_ to crash straight into Frank Iero, of-fucking-course. Gerard resisted the urge to throw his hands up in the air. He scrunched up his nose at the sight before him, because the other girl that had been walking beside Frank, Ashleigh or something, was almost _crawling_ over him, all cooing and worrying, like a mother except for the way she dressed. She was also shooting these dirty looks at Gerard, and he definitely didn't feel jealous. So not.

Ashleigh finally backed off to Gerard's relief, and Frank's head snapped up. Before he could process it his back hit the cold column behind him and this time, he didn't even hold back his irritated groan.

"What the _fuck_ do you want, Frank?" He spat, with as much venom as he could. Frank looked like he was gonna punch him, his eyes narrowed, hands grabbing at his shoulders balling to fists. If Frank wanted to fight, then so would Gerard. A fight actually sounded pretty nice at the moment.

"Shut the fuck up, Way. And watch where the fuck you're-" The rest of the sentence was cut off by the shrill bell, and Frank twisted his head in its general direction to glare daggers at it with pure annoyance, his hands gripping even tighter. Gerard was a little caught mesmerized by the way he was gnawing on his bottom lip. _Why was it cute?_

"You three over there!" A teacher with a bun tied so tightly her eyebrows were being pulled upwards down the hall barked, pointing a finger at them. "The bell has rung. Get to class. And _you_ there, take those earphones off!"

Frank stopped gripping on Gerard's poor ugly sweater and Gerard shuffled his hand out from behind his books, when he realized that Frank's hands were still on his shoulders. Yet he wasn't glaring at the school bell, or narrowing his eyes at Gerard, he was staring at the phone in Gerard's hand.

Gerard also looked down and saw the tiny white words "Fifth Period Massacre-Leathermouth" shining on the screen, with the replay button. _What was so special about it?_

"Oh my god Frank, can you just hurry and get along with it? Tasha is coming over and I can't be in detention…"

Gerard ears tuned out the rest of Ashleigh's impatient babble because Frank's stare moved upwards to his face, and he could feel a blush creeping up onto his cheeks. He stared back dumbly, his heart beating faster as their 'staring contest' went on. 

"What." Was all Gerard managed out, and he started shifting his gaze elsewhere, getting uncomfortable under Frank's heavy gaze, the hands on his shoulders suddenly getting too hot, too heavy, even though they were barely touching him right now.

Something in Frank's gaze _shifted_ , and Gerard may have been hallucinating but the look in his eyes seemed to turn _thoughtful_. Frank was looking _thoughtfully_ at him.

"I..." Frank started, but just at the moment, the archy-eyebrowed teacher came _clickety-clack_ to cut him off.

Gerard wanted to poke Frank's eye daggers in her.

"I said, YOU THREE." She barked once more, voice echoing a little. "Get. To. Class. Unless you want detention. And young man, I thought I told you to pluck those earphones off. And as for you--" She crooked a finger at Frank. "You'd better keep your hands to yourself for the best."

Ashleigh groaned and pulled Frank away from Gerard, who went obligingly. Gerard untangled his earphones before rushing behind.

-

First class of the day was always homeroom, and that was the only class Gerard had with Frank, aside from gym, which Gerard never really participated so it didn't count. But homeroom was also a class Ashleigh was in. She sits right next to Frank, whereas Gerard had to sit two rows behind him.

Frank ignored Gerard completely for the entire class-- except for a small glance at him when he rushed into the classroom. He didn't turn around, or even twitch, and Gerard desperately wished he would do something, even one of those nasty spitballs.

Once the bell rang, he immediately shot up from his seat, yet Frank and Ashleigh were already gone. And when he got out the classroom, they weren't in the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW happy new year! See ya in 2015! One of my resolutions' gonna be "update sooner." (((new-years-happy-vibes)))


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank's a prick  
> Gerard's frustrated and creeped  
> Ray and Bob are awesome friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (sorry for the hella terrible summary)  
> Hello! *waves*  
> This chapter's mainly talking about what's gonna happen next, and Gerard's feelings. Hope you still enjoy it! Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! c:

Gerard was pouting at his reflection in the boy's restroom, eyes darting towards the entrance from time to time; as he was asking himself the question: Was he addicted to pain?

It had been three whole days (and a couple of hours) ever since he and Frank had that 'incident' in the hall, and three days ever since Frank did anything to him. Except for these looks, these _glances_ Frank would shoot at him when they passed each other in the hall, and it was exactly these looks that got onto Gerard's nerves.

Gerard was extremely grateful for not having to get beaten all the time, but it was creeping him the fuck out as well. It was as if Frank was planning something big, something extraordinary, and he was letting Gerard get ready for the huge surprise.

Or maybe he just got onto other things, and just left Gerard off.

Gerard was actually not sure which thought his brain processed out he preferred, and his frown deepened even more in the mirror. He and Frank weren't actually anything together; just the regular bully and the bullied, in a third person's view. Yet in his, it was different. He yearned for Frank. It was jealousy at the sight of Ashleigh, longing clutching at his heart when he watched Frank walk away. These were the darkest secrets in the back of his throat.

What did Frank think of him though? He probably loathed Gerard, and couldn't stand his existence which could explain the beatings everyday. 

Gerard rubbed his face and kept his hands there. _This was all really, really, dumb._

Just then as Gerard dropped his hands somebody walked in and headed straight to the urinals; he decided to shut his mind up and go home. Fuck pain being his addiction; it was all Frank Iero, no matter how much he wanted to escape it. Fucking fuck.

Gerard stepped out of the restroom and headed on over to his locker to grab some shit and wait for his friends. He tugged the metal door open when he hears commotion coming down from the hall.

Gerard knew without a doubt that it was Frank and his gang. He always made sure to stop by for some reason, even if he would do completely nothing except to fucking _glance_ at him. He always made sure he fucking did that.

Gerard still took a peek from behind his locker door, which helped nothing at all to cover him because his lower body was completely exposed, kind of like an ostrich. It was indeed Frank, in the front like an alpha leading his pack.

He could feel his cheeks warming up as he turned back to his locker, starting to organize stuff. He wasn't sure what he was expecting- but he was supposed to stay here anyways.

He actually was getting into his organizing and didn't notice the group getting closer and closer until somebody grabbed hold of the back of his head, shoved it into his locker and held it there.

Roars of laughter erupted from behind him. The guy released his head and Gerard whirled around.

Everyone was laughing and pointing at him-except for one guy, which was Frank. He had his back towards him, continued on with walking, resettling his hands back in his pockets. Gerard noticed Ashleigh beside him also.

Once the group had left his view, he buried his head back in his locker and screamed into a pile of papers.

-

"Those FUCKING PRICKS!" Ray snarled, shoving his fists into his eyes. Once Frank had left Ray and Bob appeared and found Gerard making noises with his head in his locker and that apparently set Ray's inner volcano off. "I want to turn them in so fucking bad, I'm gonna like, tear some guy's god damn limbs off."

"Prayers to that guy." Gerard mumbled, shifting his shoulders a little. Ray and Bob had him sandwiched in between them, being total overprotective bodyguards and he was getting squashed. "And I only thought Bob was violent."

"What? When the fuck was _I_ ever violent?" Bob spluttered. "I'm a total 'heck yeah' for peace guy. Just a little short tempered."

"Just a little." Gerard rolled his eyes.

"Hey I apologized to that game controller and that window afterwards, for like, twice. So that makes it up."

"Ugh, fine." Gerard groaned. That definitely didn't, nlbut explaining to Bob wouldn't make much of a difference, either. "Can you guys acknowledge personal space right now? Where are we going anyways?"

"Nope." Ray replied. "Not yet, anyways. We're going out for smokes."

"Great." Gerard croaked out, as the three of them squeeze out the side door of the school, shoulder to shoulder to their smoking area behind the dumpster. He wasn't sure his 'great' was in great for smokes, or in sarcasm because his personal space was still intruded.

When they got out Ray and Bob finally backed off and they all dug out their cigarettes.

"So uh, what's up?" Gerard said a little while after, huddling against the brick wall. "Why are we smoking here when we can just go somewhere else? It's like, freaking cold man."

"It felt right." Bob said. "And we're gonna ask you something." 

"What?" Gerard asked, looking at the two guys in front of him, suddenly growing nervous. Ray was rolling his eyes, though.

"We, as in mostly Bob."

"Aw c'mon, Toro, don't tell me you're not itching to go."

"Well I do want to go, just with a different reason from you."

"Yeah, yeah." Bob waved him off. "It's been a while since we all last went to a show. So we're going to one tonight."

"Who's playing?"

"Metal Girls." Bob grinned. "Four of the hottest girls around."

"So uh," Gerard scratched at his head. "Are you there for the metal, or for the girls?"

"Definitely the girls." Ray said.

"No, but yeah, but- ugh. Half and half, alright? But trust me, they're pretty good. Heard that the lead singer can pull off some pretty great screams. And also," Bob sucked in a lungful of smoke. "One of the starter bands is from our school. Totally worth checking it out!"

Ray scrunched up his nose. "Who?"

"No idea. But what do you say? Tonight at seven, down at The Boot."

They smoked in silence, waiting for answers.

"Well," Ray eventually said. "It has been a while. Don't see why not."

"Awesome." Bob smiled. "How 'bout you, Gerard?"

Gerard thought about it for a while longer. He could use a break, and it had been a while. The Boot was a complete shithole, the best livehouse ever with bartenders who didn't bother to look at your fake ID's for a second longer. Booze, music, yeah. The longer Gerard thought about it the more he wanted to go. And like Ray, he didn't see why the hell not either.

"Count me in then." Gerard replied.

"Yeah! Let's mosh the shit out of ourselves tonight. We'll meet up at yours, okay?"


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part one of the gig, and a lot of coincidences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My phone went emo and I am now updating with the family computer, which is in the living room, where everybody can see.  
> This is just like trying to watch porn secretly with your mom in the room, except with a lot of typing.

"Heading out, mom."

"Alright, honey. Don't come home too late!"

Gerard snatched his wallet and ran down the front steps, to where Ray and Bob were already waiting.

"Hey guys- whoaaah." Gerard took in Bob's attire. He himself was wearing some random hoodie from under his bed, skinnies as always, and his absolutely worn, ratty pair of converse. Ray was dressed in a jacket, yet Bob was halfway to be a KISS band member. Ray burst out laughing as Gerard was about to ask why when his mind clicked.

That's right, they were going to a Metal Girls' gig.

" Where the hell did you get all this gear?!" 

"Amazon." Bob grinned. Showing off all his metal pieces and chains. "They literally have _everything_ on that site, dude."

"How much did all _this_ freaking cost?!"

"Not too much. These are second-handed. Kinda spent all my allowance though."

"Aw, man, just wait until you've smoked all of your cigarettes. Don't think I'll be willing to bum you half of my pack."

"Bob said that he's gonna give the girls a real 'good first impression.'" Ray wheezed, his fro bobbing a little as he was still laughing. "It's gonna be one hella special impression when he rips his _leather pants_ "

"Chill out, Toro." Bob had an arm out to support him from toppling over, because it looked very much like he would. "I practiced wearing these. Everything's gonna be okay as long as I don't bend over."

"Well you better pray that the drummer won't drop her drumstick or something, otherwise it'll be a really unforgettable first impression indeed."

"C'mon guys, let's go." Gerard grinned. "We've got booze to drink and girls to impress."

-

The Boot was just a few blocks away from their neighborhood, an area where cop sirens were permanently part of the background noise. There were groups of people huddling outside under the green neon sign when they arrived, smoking and chatting loudly. 

The place was absolutely _packed_. Gerard immediately felt too hot in his hoodie as he stepped inside. The amount of people crowded together made the whole place feel like a huge furnace. They were pushed inside by more people that were coming in, making them melt into the crowd.

"Guys, uh, I think-" Gerard started, but the guy beside him had a mohawk instead of a fro, and he was staring at the guy's tattoo of a skull- puking out _maggots_ or something- on his arm, and the person on his other side was a woman with a shirt that hung way too low. _Where the fuck did they go to?_

And as much as Gerard loved to go to gigs- the crowd was way too much for him. Ray and Bob loved to get into pits; Gerard was more of the person to headbang at the sides of the crowd. Now that he had already lost his friends not 30 seconds from getting into the livehouse. Whatever starter band on the stage had already gotten their stuff ready, so Gerard might as well just start heading towards the bar.

"Motherfuckers, we've got two fucking songs for you tonight," the lead singer practically screamed into the mic, the crowd screaming back. "We're motherfucking Leathermouth, and guess what? Your Friends Are Full Of Shit!"

Gerard's heart lurched and he choked on his own spit. _Did he just say they were Leathermouth?_ He could hardly hear the rest of his own thoughts because the band wasted no time and started playing right away, the guitars making their way to his heart, the entire floor shaking from the mosh pit that was starting to form in the middle of the room.

 _Fuck it, now._ Gerard thought. _Fuck personal space._ He came to take a break from everything, so he might as well just throw himself into the crowd and break his neck to a band he sort of knew to some degree.

He squeezed into the crowd and made his way to the front; pushing and shoving people aside, totally breaking the concert-goer etiquettes. As he was pushing he was also getting squished and shoved against other people; flower-scented hair and booze-weed smelling hair ending up in his mouth, his elbows getting stuck in people's bright pink drinks, fingers accidentally poking in his eyes. He eventually made his way to the left side of the stage where there were fewer people standing. He could breathe better, but his view wasn't good at all.

He suddenly felt a strange devotion for this band; because they were really, really good live, and they weren't even the main band. He had also gotten really motivated to see who the guys on the stage were. He looked around him and saw that some people were standing on this metal platform lined against the wall, so he might as well and get up on them too.

The platform helped a lot- and thanks to his height he could just see right above everybody's heads, even if he was off to the side. He could see the stage quite clearly, all the large amps, the bright lights, and he could see the lead singer very, very, clearly.

The lead singer's hair was soaked and dripping, looking like he had just gotten out of the pool before he got onto the stage as well as his white shirt; making it half transparent under the bright stage lights, the handwritten words "Leathermouth" on his back getting blurred. He had one foot on top of an amp, and he was screaming hard into his mic, eyes squeezed shut and his cheeks a light shade of red. Then his head shot up when the song ended- and as the crowd cheered, he turned toward to exactly Gerard's direction.

_Frank Iero._

Frank Iero was from their school. Frank Iero was Leathermouth. Gerard wanted to laugh. He wanted to just grab at some random stranger's shoulders and scream and just laugh, like a fucking madman.

Except he was frozen on the spot, and he could make no sound, no laugh come out of his mouth. Because Frank was now looking at him with half-lidded eyes, a crazy twist of wet hair, and his lips were pink and parted, shiny from spit. Gerard was getting hit by full force with it, even if it only lasted for a few seconds before Frank turned around to his band and started playing the next song.

 _Was this a dream?_ Gerard numbly thought. He was in a wet dream with a lot of porn in it, most likely, because Frank Iero sure looked like it.

It was as if he went on auto-pilot afterwards, and Frank Iero triggered it. He hopped down from the platform, feeling light-headed and he hasn't even had a drink yet. He didn't even need Frank's scream about what the next song was because he listened to it everyday, Fifth Period Massacre. The same song he was listening to before Frank started giving him the glances. And this time, he made it straight into the crowd and went to the middle, where Frank was right in front of him.

-

The song ended way too quickly for Gerard, and Frank bowed down at the end with his band and shot right back up, beads of sweat flying off his hair and left as quickly as they had arrived to the back stage. The crowd's cheers dying down to chatter. Gerard suddenly broke out of his strange daze as the stage darkened. He felt extremely out of place and started to make his way away from the stage, shooting apologetic glances at people he may have rudely shoved by. _Time to get a drink, and out of the crowd._

He took in a deep breath of the not-so-humid air once he made his way to the sides of the crowd where the platforms were again, and was about to move to the bar when something grabbed the back of his hoodie, and yanked him into complete darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am not really satisfied with this chapter, because I felt like it was kind of unoriginal, and just, kind of ew.  
> And my younger brother kept on checking on me and going like "Whatcha doing?" but, hope you guys enjoyed it!
> 
> Comments and kudos are super-duper appreciated! <3


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 at the gig... And Gerard gets in more trouble.

There was a dull thud of a door closing and the sounds from outside turned muffled as Gerard was being pushed even deeper into the darkness, a sweaty, warm, hand over his mouth to keep him from screaming. Panic started blooming in his chest as he was tripping over things that were on the floor while he was being led by his random kidnapper. His eyes started to adjust to the darkness, and he could tell that they were backstage, metal racks and poles glinting a little from the tiny light leaking in from underneath the door. He began breathing harder and harder through his nose, and he was beginning to grow out of breath and dizzy.

Hands turned him around and pushed him against a wall. He was now facing the man in front of him, but it was too dark to recognize the face. Gerard could see the glimmer in the man's eyes, but the rest of his face melted into the dark surrounding them. The man had both of his arms pinned above his head and he squeezed his eyes painfully shut when he felt the guy lean in, his breaths huffing on his face. 

"P-Please don't.." Gerard tried out of breath, trying to shrink into the cold wall behind him. "...don't...k-kill...me.." 

It probably wasn't such a good idea to beg to his kidnapper, but that was the only thing he could manage. Begging never did anybody good when they were kidnapped, at least in movies, but if that never worked in movies then it sure as hell wouldn't do any good in reality either. 

The man didn't do anything. Didn't react to Gerard's begging, and the glimmer in his eyes stayed still. Gerard's mind began to swirl. Was he even getting kidnapped? What the fuck was the guy doing? He could probably knee him in the crotch or something, but he'd probably just trip over something before he caught him. He could tell that the man was looking down at him, but that was probably because his knees were giving out and the only thing that was holding him up was the man pinning his arms. He really needed to figure out a way to get the fuck out of here, but the only solution he could think of is to push the man backwards, and hope he knocks his head on something preferably hard and pointy that makes him pass out so he could trip his way out. 

Gerard was on the ends of his nerves as he prepared for a blow on his face. What he absolutely didn't expect for was the man to remove the hand covering his mouth, and replace it with another pair of lips. 

There was no way somebody kidnapped him to kiss him! Gerard was shocked- and made a well-startled noise. The man took advantage of that and kissed him even deeper, the chill of a lip ring sending a shiver down his spine, the wet hair of the guy traced his forehead. They broke off a while later, the air around them chilly and quiet except for the muffled sounds outside and their panting. The man buried his face in Gerard's neck, and he just stood there gaping at nothing, arms still held up, feeling his eyes go completely wide.

The guy continued to pant against his neck, and Gerard took in his smell- smoky, sweaty, and something all too familiar.

"Frank...?" Gerard squeaked, his voice visibly trembling. The guy suddenly froze.

Both of them held their breaths, and neither of them dared to move a muscle. Commotion could be heard from another room and people were calling out for someone. Gerard's heart was thudding so loud. _Could it be? But how?_

The guy suddenly shot up and dug his nails into his shoulders, making him yelp out in pain. He eventually got pried off the wall and was getting pushed towards to where the doors were, almost falling onto his face at one point at how frantic the guy was pushing him, like all the guy needed was for him to get the _fuck_ out, which probably was. The door was opened; and Gerard got rudely shoved out, the door slamming tightly before he even got the chance to see who the guy was.

"Who are you?" He hollered at the door, banging it. He tried opening it but it was locked. _Just great._

He was back in the buzzing crowd and all the commotion again, but it was as if his soul had gotten sucked out in that tiny room. He shook his head, and moved slowly away from the door. He _definitely_ , _definitely_ needed a goddamn drink.

-

Gerard was halfway through his second drink when Ray approached to him from the crowd, his fro slumped and slightly damp.

"Hey dude, what's up? Someone poured their drink all over my hair and it's all sticky and weird smelling."

"Huh. Maybe it got roofied. Probably thought your hair could suck it all up." Gerard chuckled. "Just kidding. How's Bob?"

"It's fucking disgusting, it went into my shirt." Ray scrunched up his nose. "Anyways he's up in the front. Two girls had already asked him for pictures. Fucking crazy."

Ray rubbed at his temples for a bit.

"So um, did you see Leathermouth?" Gerard nodded, sipping his beer that had already turned warm. Ew.

"Dude, like shit, fuck, sorry! Like, Bob and I had no idea that... that _Frank_ would be-"

"Hey man, it's alright." Gerard cut in, and Ray stood there, hands mid-air from flailing around, looking guilty. "It's not that big of a deal. I actually thought that he was pretty good, in fact."

"Yeah?" Ray chuckled. "I was like, worried as fuck you'd be- like, yeah."

He visibly relaxed when the second starter band also finished playing. Ray turned from the crowd to Gerard again.

"Hey, well, I gotta get back to Bob. Metal Girls are up next. You coming?"

Gerard shook his head. "Nah, I'll just camp over here. Remind him about his pants!"

"Sure thing. We'll come over here once the show ends." He waved, and shuffled into the crowd, his fro quickly out of sight.

-

It was about halfway through the show, and Gerard had chugged down like, three or four bottles of beer. _Cold_ beer, and he felt really, really, good. The girls were extremely great too, and his stool at the bar was also super cozy. The crowd never lost their energy, and the whole atmosphere was amazing. He took it all in.

Gerard was stuck in this tiny piece of heaven, and didn't notice two guys approaching him until one of them started talking.

"Why, isn't that the emo freak over there?" One of the guys shouted, rather purposely over the music for Gerard to hear. He gripped his empty bottle tighter, and kept on focusing on the band playing onstage. There was no way he was going to let two fucktards ruin his night.

"Hey, yeah, I wonder what he's doing all alone by himself at the bar!" The other fucktard snickered.

"You don't think he's trying to get a hookup, do you?" 

"Oh, what?! Are you fucking kidding me? Who the fuck would want to hookup with such a _freak_."

The fucktard emphasized the word freak with a nudge on the shoulder.

"But hey, I guess you can't blame him for having blue balls. That is, if he has balls." He poked some more at him. "Hey buddy, do you have balls? Huh? Hey, hey! Are you fucking deaf?"

The fucktards were shouting loud enough that the people that were near them began looking at them. Gerard had had enough and pushed the fucktard back who was crowding against him, the reek of alcohol coming odd of them swimming in his head.

"Leave me, alone." Gerard growled lowly, finally turning to the fucktards. He saw the marker written letters on their shirts and his stomach flipped- they were also a part of Frank's gang.

The fucktards snickering faces had transformed into deathly, threatening glares, and they started inching forward closer and closer to Gerard.

"Well what makes you think we'll do just as you say? Think we'll just listen to a emo loser? Sucks, huh? 'Cause we don't." 

The fucktards had driven Gerard up against the bar.

"Now, why don't you give up your tiny, tiny little hope of finding anyone to hookup with, and go cry in the goddamn bathroom like the pansy you are!"

The last part was spat right in his face, and rage coiled up in his stomach. Well, that wasthe end of the night.

"I said, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!"

He punched the fucktard straight in the stomach, making the fucktard fall backwards, groaning in pain. The other fucktard's face was full of fury. _Runrunrunrunrun_ , his mind screamed at him, and he bolted towards the front doors, feeling the fucktard's fingers brushing against him, almost grabbing him. Out of the corner of his eye some guy had latched onto the fucktard preventing him from chasing, but Gerard still sprint out of the livehouse, ignoring the smokers outside.

He kept running all the way, even though he could hear no one chasing behind him. Once he had reached his neighborhood his lungs felt like they were gonna explode, and a stitch on his side was killing him. He collapsed against a stop sign, and sat there for what seemed like forever, staring at the empty, quiet street until he could finally breathe and felt functioning again.

He sighed, heaved himself up, and started walking home, mind numbly blank.

-

"Hey mom, I'm home."

"Oh hey, honey. It's actually still quite early. Are you okay? Did you have fun?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm just a bit tired, that's all. I think I'll go sleep, now."

"Alright, good night, baby. Sweet dreams."

"Good night."

-

(Text messaging)

_RToro: hey shows ovr. Wher r u dude?_

_GWay: hey srry man. Feelin unwell. wnt home early_

_Rtoro: oh. srry 2 hear tht. feel better soon. c u_

_GWay: c u 2_

-

-

_Rtoro: bob ripped his pants_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that new year resolution I made?  
> I'm potentially failing at it.
> 
> Please do leave a comment and kudos if you enjoyed it! They bring unicorns and rainbows c:


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard's decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh sorry guys this is an extremely _extremely_ short chapter, and it's a filler. It's so short I know I'll regret for throwing it out, but it's been kind of blocking everything.
> 
> Hope you guys still enjoy this anyways, I love all the support and the feedback's absofuckinglutely amazing. So rad.  
> Thank you all so much!! ^^

(Monday) 

Gerard was nervous. He was nervous as hell, and his stomach kept feeling so queasy that coffee for once did not sound like a good idea. It was all because of some random shot of confidence he had gotten last night, and now he was regretting all of the 'wise' decisions (he had told himself) he had made staring at the dark basement ceiling, like how you regret ever drinking so much when you have a hangover.

His weekend was pretty good, Mikey came home from his fancy-ass boarding school for geniuses Gerard liked to call 'derp school,' and they played video games all day like always. As for something productive Gerard managed to design a pretty cool frog superhero, with a fly sidekick that the frog superhero accidentally swallowed in sometimes and rad shit happens, but that's about it.

Everything was comfortable and smooth until he was going to bed last night. He was all snuggled in his blankets, pillows all placed at the perfect places; when he reached out and found out that his favorite copy of Doom Patrol wasn't there on his nightstand beside his bed where it always was. He groaned- got out of his cozy cocoon and padded towards the bathroom, where he had left it on the top of the toilet. He stepped right in the cold, pitch black space when he nearly slipped over a piece of clothing left on the floor.

He turned on the lights and after his eyes had adjusted to the brightness he picked up the black clothing and saw it was his hoodie he had worn to the gig.

Then, everything came hurling at him. The music, the crowd, Bob's pants, the fucktards- the _kiss_. _Who had fucking kissed him?_

Gerard groaned- snatched his Doom Patrol along with his hoodie and exited the bathroom. He placed the comic back where it belonged and tossed the hoodie back on the floor to be found once again some other day. He turned off the lights and dove straight into bed, not in the mood for fucking bedtime comics anymore.

Yet his mind was racing- he hadn't thought of it anymore just until then. He could imagine tiny little minions in his brain running in circles trying to figure it out. Then he made the decision. He was tired of thinking, tired of assuming, tired of trying to tell himself he was delusional. He was going to find out the answers, even if it meant that he had to confront Frank Iero. And so he was doing that today.

And now he was regretting, regretting so hard he wanted to run into a wall. Not to mention there were also two fucktards that were not completely finished with him yet, so that made things even more complicated. He would need to ninja his way.

-

"Stupid brain, stupid me, stupid piece of shit." He muttered to himself on his way to school, fumbling with his lighter that just wouldn't light up because of the _wind_. An old lady that was walking her dog gave him a weird look. Not that he cared much, anyways.

And he had felt like a genius thinking about how this would just be the key to make high school a better hellhole than it is, completely unaware of how it could also be the key to making it fifty times as worse. Anyone could've kissed him. Someone, who apparently smelled, and felt like Frank, along with that lip ring. Crazy coincidences happen from time to time. People meet their preschool playbuddies at supermarkets all the time. Crazy coincidences were possible. Yet out of all the coincidences he hoped it was Frank. He was gonna dig out the answer. It was a do-or-die, live-or-die situation which he hated, but he wouldn't chicken out. He _couldn't._

His friends were already waiting at his locker again once he made way down the corridor, and they immediately began filling him in with the details of the gig.

"He was showing them this riff-- and a huge _rriiiipppp_ filled the room." Ray went on, full on laughing. "You should've seen their faces. Oh god, I wish you could print out memories."

"Laugh all you want, Toro. but who has got their number?"

"Oh, the blonde or the donkey-laugh chick?"

"Donkey-laugh? Seriously, Bob." Gerard snorted. "You didn't even bother learning their names first?"

Bob shrugged. "Well, at least I have their number. I could ask anytime."

"So uh, how you still feeling, Gee? Things okay?" Ray asked, changing the subject. 

Gerard took in a deep breath. "Yeah, think I just had too much to drink that night. My head was like, spinning." He answered. He wasn't lying about his head, but it definitely wasn't because of too much booze. Ray would just worry about him more if he told him about what had happened while he was drinking, so he was not going to say anything about it, just yet. 

Ray seemed to understand, a knowing look in his eyes as he nodded. Bob hummed, relating to it. Gerard let out a small breath of relief. He silently made a promise to let them understand someday, when he figured things out himself first. 

The bell rang and they all parted ways to their own classes, homeroom for Gerard. 

This was his first doorway to get out. If only he took it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw I'm going to a Warbringer concert an hour later and The Boot was basically based off the livehouse they're performing in, The Wall. It's a basement, and it only opens around 8:00PM to 3:00AM. The smell of cigarettes everywhere, the walls completely covered with band stickers. It's amazing and I absolutely _love_ that place. Also saw Suicide Silence there last year exactly on this date too. Just a fun fact for all of you :D  
>  ((((((((Super-psyched-concert-vibes))))))))


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard makes a new friend(?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exams are over, how 'bout an update?? Little reference in here, pretty obvious though

The classroom was noisy and people were all scuttling about getting into their seats, and Gerard quickly shuffled over to claim a seat in the back. He threw his backpack on the seat next to the windows, second row to the back, right before a pony-tailed chick could sit down. He sat down, getting comfortable in his seat, feeling smug about winning this mini-war.

Just then, a guy with a familiar haircut also threw their backpack in the seat in front of him, quite forcefully, and plopped down into the seat as the class calmed down when the teacher came in. Frank sat in front of him, and to his luck, a dude took in Ashleigh's usual place beside Frank.

 _Yes_ , Gerard thought. That helped a lot with his non-existent plan. He could write a note. Yes, he was bold enough to think of doing this and not think of a plan on how. He deserved a pat on the back.

The class began and the teacher was getting ready to drone on about pointless things when the guy beside him spoke:

"Are you that guy who got picked on at the bar at the gig?"

Oh great, Gerard thought. This dude was either going to laugh at him with his friends or sympathize his ass all the way to hell. He needed none of that, and it was not that he was the only one in the world who got picked on at bars; maybe he was talking about another dude at another bar at _another_ gig. What was the point in answering? But he still admitted. 

"Uh, yeah." He answered, not quite looking at the guy. Frank in front of him shuffled in his seat for a bit.

"Oh." Was all the reply he got, and after a minute or so regret immediately sank in his chest. This guy was just one of those nosy people who liked to know every itty-bitty thing about everyone, and perhaps if their family all had the word 'asshole' as their middle name they'd use the information they got to backfire at you. He was probably overthinking, once again, and he stared down at his notebook at the fade lines whatever his hand decided to draw.

Turned out the guy wasn't done.

"I was kinda there when it happened." He muttered, and Gerard wouldn't have been able to hear him if he wasn't focusing on absolutely nothing. "I would definitely stay away from them if I were you. One said something about _beating you to absolute pulp_ when I grabbed onto him."

Gerard flinched a bit.

"Sorry if that was a bit too straightforward."

Gerard groaned- he knew he was screwed, but not _this_ screwed. But this dude was the one who held the fucktard down, he thought, accidentally saying it out loud.

"Yeah. I'm uh, Alex, by the way." Gerard finally turned all the way to look at the guy, Alex.

"Gerard." He replied, and Alex gave him a soft smile. "Well, ah, I didn't have the time to um, thank you because I was kinda uh, busy running for my life... So uh, thanks for saving my ass…?"

 _Why did that turn into a fucking question?_ , he thought, and tried not to think about this is the reason why he was _antisocial_ , Mikey would've put it. But Alex totally understood and grinned, a very genuine one; the light casting in from the windows reflecting off his eyes, making them glimmer.

"No problem. Well uh, just so you know I'm not just trying to get you to thank me, if you know what I mean. You seem like a pretty cool guy. Like, a Metal Girls gig? You listen to any other bands?"

Their conversation whipped off to heated debates and discussions of everything, mixed in with a lot of giggles, like vampires versus zombies because come on, that's something you could not go on not discussing about. And to comics, of course, because that was what Gerard always ended up rambling about, and Alex caught up really well with everything.

When the bell rang Gerard actually _groaned_ , for fuck's sake, and Alex giggled for what seemed like a thousand times.

"Why is homeroom so short?" Gerard groaned, ruffling his hair up. Alex stood up from his seat and laughed. "What's so funny?"

"You're so funny." Alex replied, slinging his backpack over his shoulder, smiling. Whoa- Gerard's heart fluttered. _Was he teasing?_

"Yeah?" He shrugged and looked up at Alex, finding his eyes- very sky blue eyes-looking at him. "Well I can't see anyone else smiling in here."

Alex chuckled. "Well, then. I gotta head on over to soccer practice. See you 'round?"

Gerard stilled. "Wait- you still wanna-"

Alex rolled his eyes. "Gerard Way. I _want_ to see you around and perhaps be your friend. Accept or decline?"

He held out both of his hands, balled into fists and looked at Gerard, tilting his head, one brow arched up.

"Uh... accept?"

Alex shrugged and relaxed his left arm to his side. "Then it's this one."

Gerard slowly raised his fist and met Alex's, and he grinned again. 

"Alright then, see ya soon then!" Alex said and bolted out the door afterwards. Gerard stuffed his things into his bag and stood up.

 _Did he just make a new friend?_ Not to mention- cute, also. And absolutely perfect, in his eyes, a bright-sunshine-soccer team-guy who has got a great taste in music and comics. He also saved his life. Holy cow.

Gerard was so completely baffled and mesmerized, almost, at Alex's perfection, he didn't even remember what he was anxious about this morning, and didn't even take notice of when Frank stormed out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for such short chapters, I kinda lost the papers. Still, hope you guys enjoyed this and please do leave some comments and kudos if you did! There's more to come!


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately, shit has to go down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note that there is violence in this chapter but again, _hopefully_ not too graphic.  
>  And on the other hand, I do not in any way support violence or bullying; if you, or know someone who's getting bullied, please reach out for help.
> 
> Anyways I hope you guys like this chapter too ^^ comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!

It was not that he wouldn't have expected Frank to linger around, but he had quite a lot going on in his head.

Gerard hurried out of the already empty classroom and passed the bathroom, when Frank popped out and yanked him in.

"Wha-?!" Gerard yelped as his back hit the wall behind him. Frank was almost crushing him, his hands twisted tightly in his collar. He lifted his head, heart fluttering once he met Frank's piercing gaze, but anger also started to boil in the pit of his stomach.

"What the fuck, Frank?" He spat out, not holding back. This wasn't the first time Frank had done this, no. But this time, right after he just got to know Alex and Frank just had to come along and break him out of this happiness, it mattered. He didn't do anything; he never did anything to Frank.

Frank let out a huff. "Did you think I'd let you off like that after giggling during the whole class with that, _Alex_ boy? It was fucking annoying."

The next thing Gerard knew is that his backpack was torn off his shoulder, and he was dragged to a stall and pushed in.

"Unf!" he groaned, as he was shoved against the stall wall, hands gripped behind his back like he was getting arrested. A hand snaked it's way into his long strands of hair and grabbed- peeling him off the wall and pushed him down, his knees hitting the bumpy tiles and Frank pushed his head into the toilet. Gerard screwed his eyes shut and held his breath as his cheekbone hit the rim, preparing himself to get drowned in the sickly gross toilet water. 

Yet for some reason, the water never came. The disgusting stench of school toilets was there, but he was still breathing. Gerard pried his eyes open and found himself staring at the water, instead of drowning in it. Frank's fingers were still curled tightly in his hair, and his heart hammered against the toilet bowl.

 _What was the point... What was the point??_ Gerard shut his eyes once more. Frank obviously loathed him. Hated him to the point he was about to dunk his head into the toilet. He didn't do anything. Frank found his existence so infuriating that it led to this. But then again, his head was still dry. He was still breathing. Gerard's slightly shocked at these minor positive thoughts, the tiniest spark of hope igniting. Could there be something else? Or was it just a matter of time...

Frank was panting above him, and he listened, his heart never calming down in his chest. His fingers were quivering uncontrollably on the floor next to his bent knees and he was hoping so hard, despite the terrible luck he had, that Frank wouldn't dunk him in and just let him go.

A few moments passed and his head was suddenly lifted out of the toilet bowl and onto the seat, the hard plastic cold on his cheek.

"Gerard..." Frank said, like he was trying it out. Gerard sucked in a breath. His name sounded so unfamiliar on his tongue. He doesn't ever remember Frank calling his name before. "Why... shit."

Loud clatter entering the bathroom interrupted him and he frantically pulled Gerard up onto his feet, steadying him as his knees wobbled and pushed him out the stall. Gerard collided into the wall with his shoulder. A group of guys stood in front of the sink, two leaving the bathroom just as Frank stumbled out of the stall behind him. And to Gerard's absolute luck, a fucktard was standing in front of the sink.

The fucktard narrowed his eyes at Gerard, his face scrunching up as he scanned him up and down. Gerard shifted uncomfortably under his disgusted gaze.

"Hey, if it isn't the fucking freak. You didn't think we'd just let you run off and act like nothing ever happened, did you?" 

Gerard leaned even more to the wall behind him, trying to sink into the tile-covered concrete. He was going to die- there were two people in the same place both wanting to take revenge on him, one standing especially close next to him. Gerard's heart sank. This was so not going to be pretty, especially in a bathroom. What if people's souls really got stuck at wherever they died? Out of all the places in this world the school bathroom had got to be one of the worst.

"Evan," Frank sighed. So the fucktard's name was Evan. At least he got to know his murderer's name so his friends or brother could know who to find. "Fuck off."

 _What?_ Gerard thought dumbly. Evan looked caught too. 

"H- w- what?" Evan chuckled awkwardly. "Hey, bro, kinda lost at where you at."

"Go away. Leave us alone."

"I'm trying to have a conversation with him, here." Evan waved his hands at Gerard's face, obviously. "Someone had to pay for something." He was inching closer to Frank, eyes never leaving his.

"Just fuck off, Evan." Frank gritted into his face. "And why don't you just mind your own business for once!"

Evan's face turned stern, and he was glaring at Frank. Gerard felt like this had turned onto another subject. Maybe he could slip out. Suddenly, Evan started chuckling again, and pushed at Frank's shoulders.

"C'mon, man. I thought you were cool. We're friends, huh? Why are you being like this?"

"Quit it." Frank shoved Evan away. He looked beyond furious.

"Why the fuck are you even defending him dude? What has gotten into you? Oh my god- " Evan's eyes widened in horror."You can't possibly be a fa-"

"NO! Fuck _off_ and don't you _dare_ spread any goddamn rumors or I promise I will knock your fucking teeth _out_."

"FINE! It's not like I have the time with any of YOUR SHIT, ANYWAYS." Evan snarled. Frank scoffed. Gerard was about to sprint when someone kicked him in the knee, and a huge glob of spit landed on his cheek.

"And you should still watch out for that girly face of yours." Gerard's head dropped in shame, hiding his face away behind the curtain of his hair. Evan stormed out but Frank just stood there.

He sighed. _What was he sighing for?_ A hand made its way through his hair, under his chin, and lifted his head up; a thumb sweeping past his cheek, scraping off the spit. Gerard never looked up from his shoes.

Frank wiped the spit off on his jeans, and after standing for a few more minutes, he left. The bell rang, and Gerard crawled into a stall, tears soaking his sleeves. He could only hope that the teacher won't notice, this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are still gonna be tough for poor Gerard in the next chapter ;~;


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Questions are answered...?  
> Even more shit goes down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHNother update! Sorry that it took a while, but writing this chapter was a bumpy car ride and I had to rewrite it 4 to 5 times before I was completely satisfied with it. (Though I could've just edited the first draft....pff )  
> Aaaand holy guacamole gods we've reached 100+ kudos! ;D It always gawks me when you guys leave all the nice comments, especially the support you guys give! THANK YOU!

Gerard sat on the floor in the stall, throwing wads and wads of tear-soaked toilet paper into the little metal dustbin next to the toilet. It probably really wasn't a great idea to be sitting there and his butt was getting really sore, but it was probably still better than going to class to get laughed at for being such a sorry guy. It was the perfect time to think.

So far as the day had been going the questions he was supposed to find answers for had just turned into more questions. What had Frank been trying to say before he was cut off? He felt like he shouldn't even fuss over this since it was probably just insults. Gerard banged his head lightly on the stall wall and closed his eyes. But then also why had Frank stopped Evan, one of his _friends_ , as a matter of fact from the gig, from bullying him? They could've just beat him up together; twice the fun. Maybe things would've been easier for him if they did.

Gerard's developed these absolute love and hate feelings toward Frank, and it was really messing him up, and his weird crush was not helping at all. Did Frank ever cared about him or not? He felt this feeling of realization sink in his chest, sure and steady, kind of like when you scratch an itch just at the right spot. If Frank only saw him as a dummy to throw him around, he should've been pulp. That glob of spit would still be on his face. Gerard lightly traced his finger at where Frank's thumb had swiped across, still able to feel its presence. The fingers that lifted up his chin seemed to have burned into his skin, marking where it had been. He had to care, didn't he? If he never did, Evan would've gotten his ways. All the little glimpses and looks and touches--they've got to meant something. Frank _must_ have cared about him, even if it was probably a little bit less than Gerard had preferred.

Gerard picked himself off the floor when the bell rung and went over to the sink, splashing water on his face for a few times before looking at himself in the mirror. He looked alright; a tad more weariness showing on his face, but alright. He took in a deep breath before stepping out of the bathroom.He strolled slowly down the hall to get to his next class, acting like he just listened to lectures about Newton and his spectacular laws, enjoying the noisy atmosphere when a hand landed on his shoulder.

"Dude, you look like you got something up your ass, man." Bob said in his ear. "See you at lunch." Gerard snorted and pushed Bob away playfully, and oh fuck-- that sent images up into his head. He shook them off and continued to class.

His mind was peacefully blank when he walked into the class, greeted by the sight of Alex sat next to an empty seat, perking up at the sight of him, a sweet grin spreading across his face, making his eyes squint up a bit. It reminded Gerard of cute puppies at the sight of treats, just literally perking up, all ears and energy and shit. Gerard felt a smile of his own creep onto his face. He wiped his hands a few times on his pants before he went on over.

"You're so......" _Cute_. Gerard almost blurted out. Fuck."....Awesome."

Alex hummed in response, thankfully not noticing anything out of the ordinary while Gerard was perhaps in the middle of a mental breakdown. That was the reason why he could hardly make any friends-- he screws everything up. He was way too careless, looked at things too fast and his whole, thing, with Alex could've been ruined. They were only friends, and it was not like the whole world wanted to be friends with him.

Then he thought about how pathetic and desperate he must've looked, ready to crawl on top of anyone who looked at him twice. He even relished in the attention of a bully. The moods earlier from the bathroom had escaped the stall and came back barging at him, plaguing his mind.

But then, Alex's finger was jabbing at his arm, a yellow stickynote folded neatly and tightly in his hand. Gerard turned his head and met his eyes, half of Alex's face was buried in the crook of his elbow, stifling his laughter. Gerard rolled his eyes, but felt a smile tugging at his lips, his heart feeling lighter the slightest bit. He reached his hand over, and their fingers brushed against each other as he accepted the note.

-

The world, or his life in particular, seemed to have taken pity on him or something among those lines, or Alex was just really good at being a ray of sunshine; more like the fucking sun itself, keeping Gerard from burrowing back into his mind. That would still even be an understatement, Gerard supposed. Alex was quite amazing.

Gerard was just hovering near the doorway waiting for Alex to pack up his mountain of textbooks and notes because he was apparently a hard-working student. Well, at least he tried to be one, anyway. As for Gerard, he wasn't as hard-working as Alex was, but at least he grabs out his textbooks and actually flips to the _right_ page, and by that he was already winning about a quarter of the students in class. 

"I think we're pretty much doomed." Alex rubbed his nose. "Exam's a few weeks away and I didn't understand a single _word_ he was saying."

"Me too." Gerard agreed, somewhat weakly. He glanced at the numbers scribbled on the white board, and they were like a bunch of hieroglyphs. "I only remember him saying how fucking hard this chapter was."

And right there and then the teacher walked out of the classroom, casting them a look as he passed them and Gerard felt his cheeks burn. Alex giggled.

"Whoops...?"

"Y'now," Alex said, as they started walking, side by side. "We could like, study together, on weekends at the library and stuff like that." He shrugged, and looked at Gerard. "What do you think?"

 _Studying together at the library._ Now, that should've sounded more boring, but it didn't. He had never went to libraries with Ray and Bob. It was these weird excited feelings you'd get when you did things with your friends, no matter how boring the thing was. And Alex wanted to do this with him. Gerard felt giddy again.

"That... that sounds cool." He replied.

"Nice. I'll think about when." They reached the entrance of the cafeteria. "Well, meet you back here after lunch. Say hi to the guys for me!" Alex smiled one of those smiles you'd have to wear sunglasses to see and waved, running off to his soccer team, leaving Gerard blushing and flustered. He walked quickly to his table.

Lunch with Ray and Bob was the same as usual, involving lots of back slaps and a certain amount of food got spat out. They were planning another movie/video game sleepover with a special guest-- _booze_ , and maybe a bit of weed if Bob could get some, and Gerard was psyched. Psyched to just hang out with his best buds like they have for years, all jittery on sugar from a shit ton of candy as they watch a movie they've already watched a gazillion times.

"You know what," Ray said, getting both of the other two boys' attention."We could invite Alex."

"What?" Was Gerard's first and immediate response. Bob just shrugged.

"I'm okay with that." He said. "But I'd prefer it if Star Wars didn't have additional smooching sound effects for the whole film."

"Oh man, smooching noises when you activate your lightsaber." Ray added, warming up to his game.

"I didn't know that Jabba could bring on the mood."

"Oh my _fuck_ guys, stop it." Gerard moaned, burying his molten lava face in his hands. He would've laughed if it wasn't based on a... crush he wasn't supposed to have?

"Come on dude, chill. We're just _fucking_ with you." Bob patted his shoulder, and gave him a fucking wink. Gerard was _going to die._

"Holy crows Bob Bryar _you did not_." Gerard squeaked, and laughed his weird honking laughter. "That was like, the gayest thing you probably ever did."

Ray pretended to gag. "Now, I'd _really_ prefer him and Alex make out rather than you both." He shuddered. "But in all seriousness though Gee, you wanna invite Alex?"

"You hurt my fucking feelings, Toro." And Bob punched him in the shoulder, snorting.

Gerard was kind of reluctant to have Alex over. They had always hung out in his basement, and he was kind of unsure of how Alex would react. When Ray and Bob first stepped into his beloved basement it was pretty decent, but the basement only grew messier, never cleaner. They obviously don't mind at all, but as for Alex, heck, he was a guy who studied at libraries. Libraries stored their books neatly in shelves instead of clustered piles on the floor. Not to mention that shit could get realy crazy when booze and sugar was involved. Gerard was even unsure of how Alex would at him afterwards.

Suddenly, he thought of Frank. What if the situations had been different when they first noticed each other? The feeling was mutual; maybe they could have been friends. They would've been able to have these sleepovers together. Gerard thought about the look of concentration Frank would have when he played video games, how his eyes would be completely fixed on the blaring screen, and how he would laugh and cheer when he won, the light from the victory screen shining off his lip ring. He could've gotten along so well with Ray and Bob also, talking about music non-stop, hands gesturing wildly, and Gerard could imagine the excitement that would radiate off him when they talk about his band. Then afterwards they would probably just lie there, energy well spent, relishing the friendship they have until they eventually fall asleep.

But then in reality, he was sitting there in the cafeteria with a tray of mush piled in front of him, living in his imaginary life, thinking of imaginary things, assuming all sorts of what not. He had never seen Frank focused on video games, but rather him focusing on his guitar he brought to school one day, his fingers almost traveling gracefully up and down as he played a familiar melody. He had never seen how Frank would act when he won a video game, but rather how he smiled so proudly when he got off the stage at his band's gig, and how he would laugh during conversations he found amusing. He'd never listened to Frank, never _had_ an actual, real, conversation like people usually do with him, but he had seen-- the devotion Frank had into his things, the way he expressed his emotions. In reality Gerard had never experienced these things before. In reality, Frank was an asshole, but with friends who were the _real_ assholes. And in reality, a shitload of questions were waiting to be answered, as well as Ray's. Gerard had seen it all.

"I think not." He replied, playing with his thumbs. He felt a bit out of his zone."It's not like I don't want him, duh, but just, not this time."

Ray nodded. "Okay, fine with me. So those are the plans!" Ray clapped and leaned back to stretch his arms. "Time to dump this tray of shit. You comin'?"

"No, no. I got plans with Alex. Catch you guys later." They all stood up and Ray gave him another pat on the shoulder. But what Gerard really had on his mind at that moment, had nothing to do with the blue-eyed boy.

Gerard stayed at the table as he watched his friends dump their food into the gray trashcans and walk out of the cafeteria. He glanced at Alex's table, finding him engrossed in a conversation with a couple of his other guys. He then quickly made his way to dump his food, and stood behind a column he knew where Alex wouldn't be able to see him.

He scanned his eyes at the eating students but he couldn't find who he was looking for. In a moment of frustration, he suddenly heard a chuckle come from behind him. And his heart lurched again so hard it was painful.

There behind the trophy case stood Frank, along with Ashleigh and another girl, which Gerard supposed was her friend. He crept up from the column to the trophy case, looking through the glass and between the shiny plastic cups, trying to not act like a creepy stalker, which he supposed he was quite good at now.

Frank was shrugging, and then he was talking, and Gerard could see how his cheeks kind of pulled up and how his shoulders shook as he laughed. There was a hell lot of laughter going on. Gerard leaned against the glass as he tried to breathe.

"No turning back." He said to himself, his heart beating faster. "We've talked about this. We have to, we will do it, we--"

He turned to look at Frank again, who was smiling _fondly_. Gerard was done with this. That person there was a major dick, a major problem, someone who caused pains, someone who acted like they _cared_... acted, right? Gerard just wanted to know the truth.

He stood behind the trophy case, waiting for the correct timing. At some point they eventually waved each other goodbye, and Ashleigh's friend began pulling her away. Now.

"Frank." He ran out from behind the trophy case and grabbed his elbow before he could start walking away, too. 

Frank turned around, shock written all over his face. Gerard retreated his hand like he got electrocuted, his heartbeat almost turning him deaf. Unfortunately he caught the wrong timing, because Ashleigh and her friend also whirled around and started staring at him. _Fuck._

 _No turning back._ He swallowed dryly. 

"I need to talk to you."

Frank was still, and silent, for a whole minute. His gaze completely locked on Gerard's. He was still glad he hadn't crumpled down like an old building yet.

"What." Was eventually what had came out of his mouth. 

Why." Gerard pushed out, composing himself. He absolutely did not have a high expectance of this conversation to go completely smooth. "Why are you like this?"

Frank's composure remained. Gerard continued.

"I'm just gonna go forward with this. Why do you be such a fucking prick and also try to be all 'helping' at the same time?" He steered away from using the word 'caring.'

"To be all honest, even after these years... I actually don't really know you." Gerard chuckled humorlessly, also in sudden realization. "I-if you really think about it. We've never had a real conversation. All I know is that you probably hate me to the goddamn guts. And for what reason, I _really_ don't know. You throw me around... hit me... mess with my shit, give me aches and bruises like... I'm only a punching bag or something."

"...But then all of a sudden, you seem to 'change your mind,' and actually seem to acknowledge that I might have _feelings_ too." 

Frank's expression was unreadable.

"I just wanted to ask--why did you stop Evan? Y-you can't be both mean and nice. It's unfair. J-just... Be honest with who you are, Frank."

"So you want honesty." Frank finally said, leaning in. "Fine. If you're confused about the way I think about you, I'll tell you the truth. You annoy the shit out of me. I can't stand you. There."

Gerard wrinkled his nose and felt a tiny pang in his heart. So he was right about Frank hating his exsitence. But it was obvious that he was bullshitting his way out, some great honesty he had there.

"Bullshit." He called out, when Frank turned to leave. He turned around with a raised eyebrow.

"What did you say?"

"I said bullshit, Frank." Gerard crossed his arms, feeling a burst of confidence. "Like you can't stand me enough to beat me since the first day we fucking set our eyes on each other's." He scoffed in sarcasm.

Ashleigh had a whole _Uh, what the fuck?_ expression pointed at Frank. Gerard's gut twisted.

"And so what are you suggesting? Or are you here just to try to lecture me off?"

Gerard swallowed, sweat forming in the palms of his hands. "Did you ever fucking cared about me Frank." He said, quietly. It turned out more like a statement, than a question. Gerard's heart felt like it couldn't thud any faster. He got that question out. "Or was I really, just nothing but a dummy for you to play with?"

Frank didn't reply.

"Because it's confusing. You've made me almost convice myself I'm freakin' delusional or something. You're a BULLY, but then you seem like you could be like a.... _friend_!"

"No." Was all Frank said.

Gerard narrowed his eyes. "So you're saying you don't care about me at all, do you? Then why did you stop Evan? If you can't stand me, why always come to my locker every morning every afternoon?"

"Watch where you're going, Gerard. I gave you a fucking answer. I'm warning you to stop pushing it or you'll regret it." Frank gritted his teeth.

"You can't just _threaten_ me out of this, Frank. Did you know that I can report you on this? But maybe I'm not because I'm grasping on this tiny strand of hope that maybe we could be friends."

" _Stop_ it, Gerard." Frank squeezed his eyes shut. Gerard could see this wall breaking, he only needed to push some more--

"Frank, please, j-just tell me, why do you do these things?"

"I don't care, I don't give a shit about you, okay? Go AWAY."

Gerard stared right at Frank.

"Then why did you kiss me?"

Frank stared at him, wide eyed, and he had busted his cover.

"Fuck. OFF."

Suddenly, Frank charged straight at Gerard, and his whole body was flying backwards, gasps of shock coming from people around them. His body collided with the glass trophy case behind him, the clear panels of glass shattering into millions of tiny, sparkling shards, flying everywhere around him as he landed on the ground, his head bumping into the wooden frame which was what was left of the case. Plastic snapped underneath his back, and his vision swam into an entire blur of blinding whiteness and different colors. Something wet had began to puddle under his hand.

A few moments later the whiteness was blocked out by blotches of different moving colors, and he felt a hand cradling his throbbing head. Dull shouts surrounded him along with ringing in his ears. 

A sound of a whistle came down from the hall, it's usual shrill sound also faded in Gerard's ears. He craned his head to the left, and the last thing he saw was a blurred owner of the whistle, pulling another blurred figure away down the hall whose face was constantly turning back, before all blotches of color and blurred figures all got swallowed in by darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! This was a long one! Felt like I really couldn't chop it up into more pieces. Hope it was worth the wait!
> 
> Comments and kudos are very appreciated<3 c:


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard clears up his head even more, and Mikey is there as the best brother in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER 10! WHOOPWHOOP! Though this is just a short filler thing, written by me in the middle of a fever. Aside from feeling horrible all day I get to take a break from school and read, tweet, instagram, draw, and sleep all day. ;D Sorry if this is a bit less detailed I think, compared to other chapters maybe, my mind cannot grapple much detail lately.  
> I'm also gonna be editing the previous chapters, because yeah, huge grammar mistakes back there. (Yikes!) Should've edited them before posting them, but eh, too eager to share this piece of my mind to you guys. xD Future chapters will _hopefully_ be edited more thoroughly. I'll work on that!

"Oh god... oh thank jesus fucking christ he's awake."

"Good, good. Don't let him move a muscle."

Gerard peeled his eyes open at Alex swearing into his ear, the bright fluroescent light in the ceiling shining straight into his eyes. He groaned, and lolled his head that weighed like a ton to the side before opening his eyes again. Alex quickly moved to gently stablize his head.

He was in the nurse's office, but more like a nurse's office that had gotten struck by a tornado. Plastic wrappers and cotton balls were all over the ground; the tissues in the trash bin looking quite horrifying. The nurse was tidying things up in the far end of the room; Alex along with Ray and Bob all crowded by his side, their hands hovering over him like they were afraid that just giving him the slightest touch would make him shatter. Kind of like a valuable glass vase at a museum. Gerard snorted to himself.

"Dude, we didn't think you'd wake up this quickly. It was awfully nasty out there." Bob said. Ray shot him a look and nudged him in the ribs.

"The ambulance is coming in just a moment, so hold on."

"A fucking ambulance? Ugh..." Gerard groaned again, the dull throb in his head not making the situation he was in any better. An ambulance coming to the school. That only meant even more unwanted attention, and he had already gotten enough of that from the scene he literally caused for himself out there. Not to mention the nasty looks he would get from the cheerleaders for destroying their grand prizes from winning those national competitions. Fucking fuck. But at the same time they were all just pieces of plastic put together, weren't they?

"Like Bob said, it was quite nasty out there." Alex said, eyes trailing the bandages that covered the burning wounds. "The nurse got out most of the bigger pieces of glass out of your cuts, but there could still be some smaller ones stuck in there... it's for the best."

"If it weren't for the biggest dipshit in the whole world, we wouldn't have to call one either." Ray sighed. "What is _up_ with that dude anyway? Did he really just think that he could just do whatever he wanted? He's out of his goddamned mind."

"Well at least he learns the consequences now. It's about time." Bob scoffed.

"I'm just kinda surprised." Alex said quietly, still staring at Gerard's bandages. "I mean, he's in a band. What he did was quite the opposite of his image on stage."

"He has been beating up Gerard for a long time. Way too long." Ray said, shaking his head. "And some people are just like that. What they show to the world may not completely be their true selves. It's all a facade."

"He has been beating you up?!" Alex looked and Gerard in awe. "Fuck, I never knew, you never...fuck."

"Ugh Ray, he doesn't beat me up _all_ the time...h-he just..."

"No Gee," Ray cut him off. "Even if he isn't like that, he has still gone way too far. What did _you_ ever do to him, anyway?"

"I-I don't know." Gerard stuttered out.

The whole room turned silent, anger heavy in the stale air. Gerard held back the urge to blurb out that it wasn't _completely_ Frank's fault, that it was mostly his own self that had gotten himself hurt, that it was he himself who couldn't keep away from the bully, that it was he himself that kept pushing it even when Frank made it evident for him to stop. At that moment it was absolutely not the correct thing to say out loud, not when Ray's fro looked like it could still strangle someone. It was a flawed logic, Gerard knew that himself. But then again, how flawless was _he_?

Gerard's eyes trailed down to his body. His arms were fucked, his back was fucked, and it wouldn't be surprising to know if his head was fucked up as well; even more screwed to say at the least. Everything was just the complete opposite of being flawless, why was he even worrying about imperfect thoughts when he physically was not?

The silence was suddenly broken off by a man appearing in the tiny window of the door, rapping lightly for a few times on it before entering, followed by two other men carrying a stretcher. The paramedics.

"Oh fuck me." Gerard groaned, as he was getting moved by the two paramedics onto the stretcher, the one who came in first talking with the nurse. 

"Wake me up when my life doesn't suck." He said, to the one holding his head, as if he would actually give a fuck.

"It'd be a pretty easy job, since my life is just fucked up for good." He mumbled to himself, and screwed his eyes shut as they pushed him out the door.

-

(Days later)

"Mikey."

The younger sibling gave a small smile as he shut the door with a small thud. He pulled up a plastic chair up to his brother, who was fumbling with the TV remote, his greasy hair shining from the light casting in from the window.

"You have got to get me out of here, Mikes." Gerard said, wide eyes glued onto the TV screen, switching channels furiously. "The walls are gray, the tiles are gray, it's way too fucking hot here, the curtains are blue, the sheets are... green." He dropped the remote and grabbed at the sheets, peering at them before kicking them to the end of the bed. "It's terrible."

Mikey snorted. "Are you fucking high?"

"Nah." Gerard smacked his lips a few time before leaning back into his pillows. He ran a hand through his tangled hair, grabbing the remote again. "Just bored the wits out of my mind." He went through the five channels again. "Okay, maybe I had a few painkillers, and Xanax, I think, but that's about it."

"Okay, then." Mikey shrugged. There was silence between them two, the only sounds in the room were the people on TV getting cut off by Gerard while they were talking. He began poking at the pink lines on his brother's arms. "Aren't you going to tell me about these?"

"Ow motherfucker, your fingers are cold. I got stitches on those." Gerard flinched and whined. "Stitches. Fuckin' A++." 

"How the hell did _you_ manage to get stitches?"

"I guess it was pretty dope." He giggled. "In a literal sense, also."

"That pretty much explains everything." Mikey rolled his eyes.

"Well, I was kind of expecting you to, I don't know, _faint_ because of how awesome your brother was, but instead the result just ended up with you _disapproving_ his _ecstasy_." 

"Whoa Gee, I'm not disapproving anything." He held up both of his hands. "But uh, I think you really should talk about why you even needed to get stitches in the first place?"

"Yeah." Gerard sighed, and lolled his head from side to side before speaking. "You remember uh, this guy named Frank?"

Mikey rolled his eyes back into his head once more. "Oh man, like how could I ever forget the days when my very own older brother turned practically turned into a 15 year old schoolgirl?"

Gerard felt his already flushed cheeks burn even hotter, hopefully not turning a shade darker. 

"Like, ugh, that's the biggest problem here!" He whined, covering his face with his hands. Then he looked up and at Mikey with pleading eyes while he was gnawing on his nails, giving him the answer.

"Oh fuck Gee, you're not telling me that _he_ did this to you, are you?"

"It's kind of like the cheese on a burger, stuck on both the patty and the lettuce." Gerard wheezed. "I kind of did this to myself, okay? Not like, in the self-harming way, no, but more like, it's my fucking fault."

"He's made it all so confusing, I don't even know whether I should see him as a complete douchebag or not... which I know I'm supposed to, but at the same time I feel like he cares though? He's not an absolute bastard... I've dealt with dickheads before, alright."

Mikey frowned. "So you're saying that he actually cares about you? If he did, why would he do this to you?" He asked, curiously, but not accusingly, gesturing at his brother's arms. 

"Compared to all of the other shitdicks, he does." Gerard sighed. "At least that's how I feel. It kind of really started from that gig I went to a while ago; he's the vocalist in Leathermouth."

"That band you showed me a while ago." 

"Yeah." Gerard scratched his head. "And uh, he doesn't really have the best of friends. Two of them started to gang up on me. I did eventually escape though, because of a guy named Alex. He held one of the dipshits back before they could kill me. Learned his name a few days later in homeroom. Uhh, I haven't mentioned that to you before, have I?" Mikey shook his head.

"Sorry." Gerard said, sheepishly. "I haven't told anyone that ever yet. Not even mom." He fumbled with his fingers. "Alex is a pretty great guy though, the guys seem to like him as well. He even thought about asking me to study with him."

Mikey stared at Gerard for a few moments. "Is he cute?"

Gerard spluttered. "Cute? Jesus fucking-" He squeaked. Okay, that was quite unexpected. "U-uh... yeah? I mean, he's pretty cute... I g-guess. But that's not the point!"

"It was also that day I confronted one of the fucktards, whose name was Evan, I found out. Frank uh, pulled me into the bathroom after that class and Evan just so happened to come right in to wash his hands. It was... weird. Like, they both just happened to be bullies, who just absolutely loved to pick on _me_ , but around Evan, Frank suddenly started to _defend_ me, and kept telling Evan, one of his _friends_ , to fuck off and 'mind his own business.' Why did he do that? He's trying to act both caring and outright mean, but which one is he, really?"

"Damn." Mikey bit on his lip. "He's possessive, much? But your scars--"

"I got these when I went up to him to talk to him, to get things straight because like I said, he's driving my brain nuts. Obviously it didn't go well. I pushed him past the limits and he lost control... the next thing I knew I was flying into the trophy case."

Mikey flinched. "Mom only told me you got cut. That's kinda stupid, you know? To just get cut by glass out of nowhere. I thought you definitely wouldn't do that to yourself, either. But speaking of this Frank, if he's such a person to lose his shit so quickly around you, wouldn't it be better to just stay away from him completely, even if he did care about you for just the slightest bit?"

"I can't. He comes by my locker every single day, kind of like a greeting. Sometimes it'd be punches, sometimes it'd be a few nudges. But I want to know who he really is. I want to know how he really feels of me. I've seen his good side around his friends, but I want to know him. I want to _know_ that side of him, not just watch it. And I also want to know why actually keeps up with this 'routine' with me every single day..."

"Does Ray and Bob know that Frank bullies you?" Mikey asked. Gerard nodded.

"Then maybe Frank defended you from Evan was just because he didn't want to get into trouble himself. Since Ray and Bob didn't know anything about Evan, if he and Frank both beat you up they would only be able to accuse Frank." Mikey explained. "I'm only taking a crazy guess here. I kind of don't really see that as much a strong enough evidence to say that he actually has more feelings to you, other than just hate for you?"

"Well um, there _was_ something else at the gig..." Gerard mumbled nervously.

"What?" A long pause settled in between.

"He may have um, kissed me...?"

"Oh... oh fuck."

"Yeah, um, and maybe, don't tell any of that to anyone?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things'll get more interesting in the next chapters! I promise ;) Hope you all enjoyed this one anyways as well,  
> Comments and kudos bring a smile to my feverish face ;D


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard and Alex happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gerarf and Alex get it on. (No, not smut, sorry) I recently just made a wattpad. I've already uploaded my oneshot up there and I'm considering throwing this story on there, also I'm starting another story I've began to write already but I'm also thinking about where to post it, or maybe both. I don't know. The future awaits. Hope you all enjoy this chapter as well though! Things progress.
> 
> NOTICE: insults! (Pretty colorful, to me)

_Gerard was standing on the pavement. The chill had seemed to have dug its way deep down into his bones. The air had turned into something thick, like glue, and the sky had turned into a gray, piss yellow color, something that looked straight out of a photo from a couple decades back. _Despair_ , the vibe it seemed to give. Then all at once, the school was looming over him. Everything was overshadowed, the whole building almost dripping with it. People came out from behind the drapes of black and stared hard with deep, soulless eyes, silent. Their gazes drilled into him but nobody was speaking. The world was alarmingly still, when he gasped it was muffled in his ears; a weight on his chest was almost about to crush him; the thick air was drowning him right on the spot-_

_A familiar face emerged from the crowd, and it was Alex. Gerard shouted his name, but no matter how much he tried it always came out muffled. Alex stood among all the other people, but unlike the rest his eyes were pained. Those blue orbs have withered into the same color as the sky, and they were deeply filled with sorrow as his gaze shifted off of Gerard's face. He turned, to see what he was looking at, and Frank was there down the hall, storming towards him..._

Gerard gasped, as he shot straight up in his bed, looking around. He was in his room, ever since he had gotten back from the hospital yesterday. Blindly, he reached a hand out to the nightstand beside his bed and grabbed the alarm clock. 7:01 AM, Tuesday. He groaned, tossed the clock away and laid back down, throwing his hands onto his face, rubbing as if he could rub away the dread. His mom was so going to make him go to school, but he still had his bandages on for fuck's sake.

Instead of getting out of the bed he burrowed right back under his blankets, pulling it over his head. Maybe he'll suffocate and his mom could drag _that_ to school.

"Gerard," She called, from behind the door. Great timing, he thought mournfully. "Gerard, I know you're still in bed in there, but you have to get ready for school." She rapped her knuckles loudly on the door.

"Why." Gerard called out from his getting-cozier cocoon. It was only at that second he wished he was still at the hospital. Despite all the freaky needles and drugs and all that. 

"Trust me honey, if you could have the energy to play video games when we got home yesterday you would have the energy to go to school today."

Fuck. He knew he shouldn't have done that. He got a crappy score anyways. "And what kind of logic is that?"

"My logic. Now get your lazy butt up or you're going to be late!"

Gerard shut his eyes, and slowly rolled off and away from his warm bed onto the carpet, accidentally landing on one of his wounds, pain flaring up his arm. He yelped, and shivered, curling up into a ball. _Cold._

He took a brief moment to imagine himself as a cold, sad, lonely, poor little dog lying in a dark alley with no human caring at all about him. Then a little girl holding a candle came and rescued him and they went home and had cookies for dinner.

His sad story ended rather abruptly because the floor was really too cold to power up his imagination without freezing his butt off first. He stood up, grabbed some black hoodie off the floor and tugged it on, heading to the bathroom to finish his morning routine.

-

Gerard was sitting at the dining table carefully sipping his boiling hot cup of juice of life when his mother came in.

“Take some to school. The sun’s already set once you’ve finished that mug.”

“I’m appreciating it and it’s fu- freaking hot okay.” His mom shot him a side glance. 

“Oh yeah, and I’m driving you to school.”

Gerard choked on his coffee and spat it out, heaving.

“What?” 

“I said I’m driving you to school. What, can’t a mother drive her own son to school?”

Gerard’s wounds began to itch. “It’s not because I have stitches, is it?” He asked, after a long pause.

The mother looked at her son with a softer gaze. She sighed. “Look baby, I trust you, okay? But you know, as a mother I worry. Especially at _this_ age, my god. Absolutely paranoid. Who knows what this sudden back pain could mean? It's all karma." 

"Mom, you're not _that_ old. Stop saying things like that." Gerard whined as he wiped off the spat out coffee on the table. He hated it when his mom did that.

The mother only smiled. "My sons are almost finishing high school, how can I not? Now come on, pack it up and get your butt in the car you're late!"

"Oh, snap." He said, glancing at the clock hanging on the wall. He poured his coffee into his thermo and ran down to the car out front.

-

"Right, you sure you want to get off here? I can just drive way up to the school, I can still get to work."

" _No_ , I mean, yes, I'll just get off here." He managed to have his mom stop a block away from school. He chewed on his bottom lip. "Thanks mom, and it's uh, more convenient for you, also."

"If you say so." She replied, arranging things around. Gerard opened the door and stepped a foot out. "Oh and uh, honey?"

"Yeah?" Gerard turned around.

"Stay away from Frank." 

He looked at his mother in the the rearview mirror and she was glaring. Her voice was cold, hard, and laced with venom, her stare the same as she told her son. It was like she'd pull out a knife at any second. Gerard would've freaked the fuck out if it wasn't his _mom_.

"H-how'd you know?" He stuttered, because it was just so unexpected. He didn't have the memory of telling his mother, and he clearly remembered telling Mikey not to tell _anyone_...

"Ray and Bob told me."

"O-oh. Um, okay." At least it wasn't Mikey.

His mother's face visibly relaxed, and the straight line of her mouth curled up into a warm smile.

"Hope you have a nice day, sweetie!"  
Her voice was warm and familiar again. Reassuring.

"Thanks you too, mom." He shut the door closed, and waved at his mother until she drove out of his eyesight. He took in a deep breath and stared at the white building, tense as shit.

"Calm the fuck down, Gerard." He muttered to himself, pieces of last night's dream lingering in the back of his head, like the shadows that had clung onto everything. The sky was gloomy gray, and the wind was strangely colder and stronger -

"The wind is just the same as yesterday." He grumbled. "Fucking paranoid." The faint sounds of people chattering in the distance was making him doubt, though. 

He pulled up his hoodie and trudged toward the building of Hell; _positive thinking_ , he scolded himself. His hair whipped around all over his face. He'd just quickly make his way inside, straight to his locker, straight to class. Okay.

He ducked his head low and began weaving in and out of the groups of people standing in front of the school doors. He was halfway there when somebody called out his name. 

"Gerard!" Hell unleashed.

The loud talking all suddenly turned down. People began to look at him. Gerard felt panic rose up in his chest; what he tried so hard for not to happen all came hurling at him at once. Of course the whole school would've known. Did he even actually had the hope? He felt his eyes go wide - what kind of douche was a bastard enough to have done this to him...?

Alex appeared from behind one of the groups, hair messy and face flushed. He rushed up to him, Gerard only being able to stare at him with wide eyes.

"Fuck, _fuck_ , I'm so sorry Gee, I said that too loud." He was frantically grabbing at his sleeves to turn him around. "Go, go, move!"

That was when Gerard went back to functioning again and fast-walked into the school with Alex pulling him all the way to his locker. He let out a breath.

"God, I'm so sorry, like, I just-"

"It's fine." Gerard cut in, leaning onto the lockers for a bit. "But ugh, what a morning."

"As always." Alex shrugged. "But hey, it's great to have you back."

"Thanks." Gerard managed to push out a smile. They stared at each other for a moment. "Eh, um, I should- you know-"

He quickly turned around and fumbled with his locker's hatch, yanking it open. A few papers flew out and Gerard winced slightly at how cluttered his locker was, with Alex just right behind him. He could totally see what a mess it was, but from right in the beginning when he held those the fucktard back Alex should already have an idea of how fucked up he was. If that was so how was he supposed to have a nice, organized locker, anyways?

He pushed all the possibly junk to one corner, grabbing out his needed things while doing so. He was about to shut his locker when chatter came down from the hall.

Gerard couldn't help it. It had turned into a reflex of somesort it seemed, because his head immediately whipped to the side when he heard all the noise. He sucked in a breath, and he could feel his heart pounding...

But what appeared down the hall was just... a group of people, chatting merrily with broad smiles on their faces. And before they could even reach Gerard the group had split up as they all went to their own respectable classes. Gerard didn't know how to feel about this.

Alex must've noticed him staring down the hall; well hell yeah he did, since Gerard nearly got whiplashed by his own hair as he turned his head, but he got all crowded up into his space and put a gentle hand on his upper arm.

"Gerard, hey, Gee." He spoke, softly. Gerard returned to his senses and turned around to face him, hand still on the locker door. "It's okay, everything is okay, he's not gonna come."

He was talking about Frank, for sure. His eyes were glinting with worry.

"I-I'm fine." Gerard replied, shutting the door. In his mind he wasn't exactly worried about Frank coming, though. Frank couldn't have gotten expelled, could he? He had seen people do even worse of things. He should've only gotten one warning, if that was how it went. You needed three to get expelled.

"Come on, let's go, then." Alex ushered him, still pulling him by the sleeve. Gerard was not sure how he should feel about that, either.

They entered the classroom and well, things were weird. Ashleigh sat in the middle of the classroom by herself, scrolling through her phone. She snuck a glance at them as they entered, and Gerard didn't know  
what to do as they met eyes. At least he knew not to wave and say hi.  
And before long, she looked back down at her phone showing no emotion.

They hurried on and found seats. The atmosphere was so tense and awkward to Gerard even though it was probably just like any day to the other students. Alex looked kind of jumpy, too.

"Substitute." He muttered, watching the teacher walk in. Alex nodded beside him.

The teacher introduced herself and grabbed a clipboard lying on the table.

"Alright class, I'll be doing a quick roll call. Jamia Nestor?"

"Here." A voice called from the front of the room.

The teacher took up about fifteen minutes to go over half of the class.

"Frank Iero?" She finally landed on. Gerard hitched his breath. 

Silence. The teacher looked up from her clipboard.

"Frank Iero? Is Frank Iero here?"

"He's uh, um," Ashleigh spoke out, scratching her head. "Absent. He's absent today."

"Okay, then." The teacher scribbled stuff on the clipboard. "Gerard Way?"

"Here." He called out, relieved his voice came out smooth. So it was great relief he hadn't gotten expelled yet. Just absent. That was why he didn't come down the hall.

When the teacher was fully done class had only another fifteen minutes left. Gerard still passed notes to Alex ans he passed back but things were toned down a bit. Gerard kind of really wanted to have fun.

The bell rang and Gerard packed up his things and waited for Alex by the doorway, as usual.

"I told her that you were absent today."

Gerard's heart lurched and looked out, backing slightly away from the doorframe to not to be seen but also to make it not look obvious that he was hiding. 

Ashleigh stood there leaning on the doorframe, and Gerard could tell that Frank was there beside her, too. His eyes were casted down, hands shoved tightly into the front pocket, his gray hoodie up. Gerard had the perfect view of his eyelashes, long and fanned out slightly. This image of him was different from the usual image of him though- rather from the bright, sunny skies, he seemed to be an angel from the cloudy, concrete sky outside today. _Maybe he's sick_ , Gerard thought.

"Did she not say anything about it?" He asked, softly. Ashleigh shook her head.

"Substitute today. It's not like she knows anything about you."

Frank said something in reply but Gerard didn't quite catch it and Alex was pulling his sleeve.

"C'mon Gerard, let's go." He said, pulling him out the door. Gerard stumbled behind him and he dared himself to look behind-

Frank was staring at him.

But before Gerard could read his expression, he was tugged, down the hall and around the corner, out of sight.

-

"So I have soccer practice today." Alex spoke, casually. They were walking down the hall after lunch, Ray and Bob gone in another direction.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. And I was wondering... if you wanted to hang out today."

Gerard's heart leaped and he felt a blush creeping onto his face. Good thing they weren't talking to each other face to face.

"I, um," Gerard stuttered. He couldn't quite believe it. "You're asking _me_ to hang out?"

"Well, I don't see anyone else in this conversation."

"But that's like," Gerard swallowed. "Like, why are you asking _me_? I'm awful, okay. Like, straight from the start. And besides, I actually still owe you once for saving my life at the gig." He was awkward, paranoid, and not to mention the target of three bullies like a rat to vultures. Being with him was pretty hard work. Especially if he _maybe_ had a bit of feelings for the other boy.

"Gerard, you're not awful because a couple of douche-dick-nut-sucker- gooberhead-psycho-bitch-shit-fuckers find it right to pick on you." Alex spat, and Gerard was a bit taken aback by the colorful insults. There was a moment of silence. "Sorry." He mumbled.

"I-it's okay...?"

"And besides, you can pay me back by hanging out with me." He smirked. _Smirked_. "I mean.... if you want to, of course." And then that smirk dropped down to an unsure smile.

"Yes! I mean, yeah, that's totally cool." Gerard exclaimed, and Alex's unsure smile turned up again to a gleeful one.

"Yeah? Well maybe you can come down to the field and watch me... or you could totally just go home first and then I'll call you, and we can go hang out at mine's."

"Soccer sounds great." Gerard immediately replied, and regretted for a split of a second. If he were to be real honest he'd rather go home first, _Control_ himself around the thought that _he was hanging out with Alex,_ and then go to his house all confident and smooth. But a part of him didn't want to let Alex down, because he had this really earnest face going on looking at Gerard like a puppy begging for him to _please... come watch me play with balls..._ Wait. Soccer only has one ball. Gerard mentally stabbed himself.

"Fantastic! But I can't promise you watching us practice is going to be much fun. You should bring a book, or a sketchbook like that."

"Okay." Gerard nodded. He was going to bring a sketchbook. To sketch someone. Secretly. It was _so_ going to go _okay_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos make me a happy happy girl. ;DD


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard first goes to soccer practice with Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I wonder how school is going for some of you! I'm doing pretty well myself, and I have a few updates!  
> First of all, I have managed to edit the previous chapters; nothing major, just a few tweaks here and there and grammarly incorrect places.
> 
> Second of all, I have decided that I am going to upload this on Wattpad, though with Wattpad I need to make a cover which I'm TERRIBLY bad at and as an indecisive person, will take me FOREVER to get done. So I was hoping that some of you talented cover/editing professionals could maybe lend me a hand and help make a cover for this story! I'll put details at the notes at the end.
> 
> But yeah, think that's about it. Hope you enjoy this chapter, lots of love! <3<3

The day rolled by quickly, and by the time Gerard knew it Alex was walking out the doors to the field in his jersey saying, "see you later!" enthusiastically to him.

"What am I going to do Ray, oh my god." He groaned, walking down the hall with his friend. Ray had been the best pal ever, listening to all of Gerard's "what ifs" and other pointless questions and scenarios his anxiety riddled mind came up with. For the third time.

"Like I said," Ray put out a hand in the air, to emphasize his point. "You don't need to do anything in particular. Just be _yourself_. The dude obviously likes you enough; he's inviting you to his house."

Gerard ran his hand through his hair. "But I'm just some awkward, weird-assed dude!"

"So what? Then that's what he apparently likes!"

"I don't even know if he's even gay or not." Gerard muttered, to himself, but Ray heard it as clear as the day.

"Whoa, dude-" Ray slowed down, widening his eyes at his friend for just the slightest bit. "Seriously? Like, I thought your gaydars would tell you or something."

Gerard snorted and rolled his eyes. "Aw, come on, fuck you man."

"Just joking." Ray smiled. "But I think you should, don't stress it? Don't start asking those questions from those Internet gay quizzes; the ones Bob was fucking obsessed with before, you know? I believe he'll outta tell you, sooner or later. I was serious when I said that he liked you." 

Gerard raised an eyebrow. "You think so?" He asked, unsure. He fiddled with the strap of his messenger bag. Of course, he couldn't tell if someone had any actual feelings for him, unless they probably screamed it in his face. His mind was numb at decipering these kind of things.

"Very much." Ray nodded. "But you know, if things don't turn out as expected, he's still a good friend."

That was legit. Gerard shut the fuck up with all the reassurance and he let out a breath. "Yeah, yeah. Thanks, man." 

"No problem. Eh, I'll get going. Bob never saves any Doritos for me. Have a great time!"

Gerard thanked the other boy once more and they waved each other goodbye. Then he was left alone with schemes bombarding his mind again.

"For fuck's sake, Gerard." He muttered to himself, and continued through the school.

-

He made it to the other side of the building, where his locker was. As he approached the louder his footsteps echoed; the kids all gone home since it was about half an hour past when the bell had rung. _Let's go down this corridor, out the back door and to the field_ , he thought, easing himself a bit.

He tugged on the latch of his locker, movements gentlier in the silence. He moved things aside, contemplating which books he needed for homework, and which books he took just for the sake of feeling like he was actually doing anything in school. He also dug his fingers in the very back of the small space, feeling the familiar spiral of his most personal sketchbook and grabbing it.

"Gerard."

He sucked in a breath, leaping straight into the air, shock rippling down his spine. The sketchbook dropped from his hands and splayed right out in the open. He slammed the locker shut, the metal rattling loud and harsh in the air as he knelt down to pick up his sketchbook, which was open to a page filled with people spewing blood out of various areas of their bodies. That was why it was his most personal sketchbook. He flinched a bit, and hugged it to his chest.

It was Frank there, leaning against the lockers, watching him intently. His hoodie was brought down, and a lip ring shimmered on his bottom lip.

"Frank,” Gerard gasped as he saw the boy in front of him. He looked around frantically, finding the halls completely empty. “What are-- what are-- what do you--”

“I’m not going to hurt you.” Frank replied, slow and sure, reading what was going on in Gerard’s head. His eyes casted down onto the tiles. “Not again, anyways.”

Gerard replayed what he had said again in his mind, and gripped onto his sketchbook even harder. “What do you-- what do you mean…”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Frank looked up again, staring into Gerard’s eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Gerard tried to find _any_ traces of joke or laughter among those eyes and waited for someone to jump out from a corner smash his face with a pie; but all he could find was seriousness and sincerity. He knew Frank meant it.

“How am I-” Gerard cleared his dry throat. “How am I supposed to trust _you_?” It came out merely as a whisper. He was shivering, he realized, his knees wobbling as anxiety pumped through his veins. Anything could go wrong. It was not safe for him to be there. He tugged unconsciously on his sleeves, Frank watching. “ How am I-- how do I know that this is not just a _joke_?”

“I don’t expect you to forgive me.” Frank answered. “And I don’t think that there is anything much I can do to give back. But I promise I’ll never hurt you again.”

A part of Gerard guessed that Frank was just apologizing out of fear. He had already gotten a warning already, pretty much the whole school knew about this. He didn’t want to be expelled- who did? It was all the pressure making him apologize. This crushed a small part of Gerard, though why would he have any other reason than that to apologize to him? This is what warnings were given out for; to apply pressure, to give the misbehaved students a _warning_. It was Gerard’s feelings talking.

However, Frank apologizing relieved something inside of Gerard, knowing that he _promised_ that he would not hurt him again. His stomach felt queasy at how Frank was looking at him. It was kind of strange, his eyes not filled with anger or hatred but they were calm and sincere, which felt like a shawl wrapping Gerard’s shoulder.

“You do still remember that Evan’s still after me, right?” Gerard shuffled on his feet, each shuffle a centimeter away from the other boy. Frank noticed this tried shuffling to an even more unthreatening position.

“I swear to you Gerard, that I involved in none of that.” He said. “And I’m not friends with him anymore.”

“So how does that help?” Gerard couldn’t help blurb out. “He practically still wants me dead.”

“I won’t let that happen.” Was all Frank replied.

Gerard tried not to think of _how_ he wouldn’t let it happen, and he didn’t want to trust Frank. A shitload of promises. Promises were a thing that could be broken just as easily as it was made. Fragile, like glass. There were so many reasons that why he shouldn’t trust Frank; he could hear his friends: Ray, Bob, Alex, and his mother all screaming at him to run, to _go_ , to turn away and just leave from all this, but his heart took the opposite way.  
“Fine.” He sighed, heart thudding against the hard cover of the sketchbook. “So like, what are you even trying to be right now? A bodyguard with all of your promises?”

Frank seemed to take his bitter tone well.

“Yeah, I guess. For now.”

Gerard blinked dumbly at him, half expecting for Frank to lunge at him instead. There was a small _smile_ on his face. Frank was _smiling_ at him. It was new, _strange_ , and it made Gerard nervous.

“I-I-I have to go…” He stuttered, blinking and staring down the corridor he needed to go. “Someone… someone is waiting for me.”

“Alex.” Frank said, his smile faltering, but his tone still light. Gerard knew that he wasn’t fond of Alex from past experiences. “He’s at the second bleacher.”

“I… thanks?” Gerard frowned, slightly puzzled. 

“See you around sometimes.” Frank nodded, and he turned on his heel and started walking away.

“Wait!” Gerard said, grabbing at his elbow before he could go. The other boy turned around, nibbling on his lip ring in confusement. Gerard dropped his hand.

“Please keep your promises.”

The words came out soft, and they looked into each other’s eyes for another while longer, Gerard’s pleading eyes staring into the windows of Frank’s soul.

“I will.” 

They broke their gaze, a spark seeming to extinguish. Frank turned around once more and Gerard sent him off with his gaze until he was no longer in sight. He felt weird, so _weird_ , this entirely different vibe he got off from Frank intruding his insides; he ran down the corridor and out of the back doors to the field.

-

The sun outside warmed up his clothes and the top of of his head, the air still cool in his lungs, tough. The grass was slightly damp and squishy from a slight drizzle earlier. The field was filled with shouts; the coach barking out orders as he blew on his whistle. Alex was indeed at the second bleacher, hair ruffled and cheeks a scarlet blush, chugging down an orange bottle of Gatorade. A charged ball of sunshine, Gerard chuckled inwardly.

As Gerard approached Alex sensed the presence of the other boy and set down the bottle, wiping at his mouth.

"Oh, hi! I thought you had already gone home.” He smiled, voice a bit breathy.

“I had a couple of things to turn in, so I guess I came out a bit late.”

Alex giggled at that. “Well, we still have around 15 minutes of practice left; hang around?”

Gerard ended up sitting down on the sun-warmed bleacher as Alex went back on the field. He flipped his sketchbook open to the page Frank had saw and tried to look at it in his point of view. _They’re not bad_ , he thought. He was pretty proud of them, in fact. Though seeing doodles of people screaming out red fluid out of their mouths was probably always a bit of a thriller. _Maybe he could’ve thought it was tomato juice_ , he wondered. Tomato juice was totally not delicious in his opinion, anyways, thus it was spat out.

He flipped to another clean page in his sketchbook and dug out a pencil from the hell of a messenger bag he had, gently sketching lines onto the paper, just letting out the creative energy spew out from his fingers. He tried to capture the boy sprinting among the grass, but somehow what spilled out on the paper was a slouching silhouette of a guy, walking, their footsteps dripping like ink. He stared at it for a long time, when the coach blew the whistle announcing that practice was over, and Alex came back.

“Alright! Let me just change my clothes and we can go!” He smiled, high on endorphins from exercising. “Ooh and nice sketch!”

Gerard threw a quick smile at Alex, before shutting his sketchbook when he wasn’t looking and stowed it away in his bag.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're wanting to make a cover for my baby (hehe) it'd be cool if you can leave a notice in the comments! What I'm looking for is just basically a high-school Frerard cover, with the title and the author. Kind of a bully!Frank would be nice. I'll give you a shoutout on here, as well as on Wattpad, and on my Instagram. ALSO feel free to credit yourself directly on the cover; because you are awesome!! B)  
> Send it to me through any of the social media;  
> Instagram: @gerard_horrormones  
> Twitter: @keboogy  
> Kik: @gerard_horrormones  
> Tumblr: @gerard_horrormones (I hardly have any idea of how Tumblr works tho)  
> Have a fantastic day <3<3  
> Please do leave a kudo or a comment if you enjoyed this chapter!! ^^


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard hangs out at Alex's house, and learns more things about the boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, don't know if you guys noticed or not this story is about to turn one year old in a few days. Thing is, I don't even know if I'm even halfway through yet; but I just want to thank you all for still being supportive and loving this fic. <3
> 
> Now I know some of you are probably a bit worried but I promise you, Frank and Gerard will totally be together in the end. But Gerard's relationship with Alex still needs to reach its highest peak, which I will say, will be in the recent chapters. I GOT THIS THING THOUGHT THROUGH, FRERARD FOREVERS <3 Though this story might end up super assed long... for I get all these sweet ideas to put in here; it's as troubling as having a writer's block as well.

Gerard leaned against the wall outside of the locker room, waiting for Alex to change back into his clothes. The other people that went in and out completely ignored his presence.

"Alright, I'm all done. Let's get going." Alex announced when he came out. Gerard nodded.

They went out the doors and walked across the field again, silence settled peacefully in between the both of them. The grass rustled as they stepped upon them, the leaves of the trees sway slowly. Birds chirped as they crossed the trees as in a welcome.

"...Are you alright?" Alex said, after constantly taking a few glances at the other boy. Gerard had been staring at the ground for the whole time. "You look a bit... off. Startled, almost."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine," Gerard replied, finally looking at the shorter boy, seeing the concern. "I just..."

His thoughts about Frank were completely fucked up again. But this time he didn’t want to think about it all on his own; he was tired, it took too much brain capacity. He wanted to talk about it with someone, Mikey being the best choice but he was only home for a couple of a weekends during the month, and his phone was confiscated by the school. He supposed he'd talk it with Alex, his _friend_ , but not now. Definitely not now. Perhaps later.

"...need a whole pot of coffee."

Alex didn't seem to notice anything. "Mmm, coffee. You know, I can make some sweet-assed frappucinos."

Gerard snorted. "Seriously? Frappucinos?" He usually had nothing more than black. "Do you open a Starbucks?"

"Haha, no," Alex chuckled. "But we do own half of their syrups and stuff. C'mon!"

They eventually walked up to a two storied house, the outside walls painted a creamy yellow. A small picket fence surrounded it, and beds of flowers outlined it. They walked up the cobble staircase and Alex fished out a set out keys from his backpack and unlocked the door.

This time the walls inside were beige, a white plushy sofa in the middle of the living room. Everything was clean, arranged, and spotless. Gerard couldn't help but wonder if they hired someone to do the cleaning. 

"Hey so um, you're usually alone here after practice?" He asked, starting to feel awkward again, like he was this speck of dirt in this dust-free residence. Probably since he was wearing mostly all black, and his surroundings were all in such a light mannered way. _Happy_.

"Yeah," Alex replied, setting his backpack on the couch. Gerard did the same. "My parents are at work... well, at least my mom is." He was fiddling with some of the cushions on the sofa, and he threw one back down with a bit of force.

"Who knows what the fuck my _dad_ is doing."

Gerard had no idea of what to reply. Whatever happy vibes the place held suddenly shattered like a fragile mirror. Alex went on.

"They're divorced," he sighed, turning from the couch to the open-spaced dining room. He smiled at Gerard, but for once it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I stay with my mom."

"Oh that's-- I'm so sorry." Gerard apologized.

"It's alright. My mom's pretty cool." Alex replied, staring at a photo on the dining table. It was of a younger version of him hugging a woman with blonde waves hanging from her head. Gerard supposed that she was probably his mom. "Unlike my dad who's only a major fucking dickhead. Someone who only knows how to completely ignore his family, fuck around with thugs, and can't keep his own dick in his pants."

"I mean, I seriously _cannot_ tolerate anyone who fucking cheats, you know? Like, you look up to someone for your _whole entire life_ , only to find out that they are just; a lie. The best father in the world. A lie.  
All the "I love you" said. Lie. You're the most important to him. Lie. Your whole life just crumbles down at that point, because all that love you built it on turned out to be just _nothing_."

It suddenly came to Gerard that he actually did not know much about Alex in reality. Yeah, they sure did have the same music taste, a couple of interests, and that Alex was happy and bright as fuck... but that was about it. It felt so strange with this unhappy Alex. Sure, Gerard was well aware that he was human and had emotions too, but it was still unsettling that he was upset. Gerard wanted to change that.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Gerard hushed, “things are settled, yeah? He won’t be cheating on you guys anymore. And there are still so many people who love you. You still have your mom, your soccer teammates, they love you; And I-I do too.” Oh god, did he just confess his love for him? Gerard felt his cheeks flush and mentally facepalmed himself at what he just said. 

“You’re a great friend.” He quickly added. “E-everyone deserves to be loved. I’m sure Ray and Bob do too.”

All Alex did was throw a smug smile at him. _Oh god_. Gerard did not just potentially ruin things.

“I’m sure you do.” Alex replied, and was that a smirk on his face? “And thanks, I needed to rant that out for a while... You’re a great pal.”

He said that last sentence quieter than the others. Gerard felt like hyperventilating. The boy in front of him was much back into his ‘usual state,’ and he couldn’t help but feel like he accomplished something, pride swelling in his chest.

“Now, enough shitty things. We got drinks to make.”

They rounded the counter that separated the dining room and the kitchen and into the area, where Alex went over to a cabinet and grabbed out two beer glasses.

“Now, why don’t you make the coffee, while I get the ice cream.”

Gerard obeyed and began opening the bag of coffee grounds. Alex made his way to the freezer and grabbed out the ice cream, also fishing out an ice cube from the ice tray and tip-toed up to Gerard, shoving it down the back of his clothes.

“AH, FUCKING--” Gerard shrieked, feeling a trail of coldness down his spine. Alex cracked up behind him, while he squirmed this way and that, trying to shake the ice out. He finally caught it at his waistband, holding the dripping thing in between in his fingers as he grinned at Alex, who had a glimmer in his eyes.

Gerard attacked; he grabbed at the other boy’s shoulder and shoved his hand with the ice down his back, earning a shriek from him. They fought and tackled each other down on the tiles, their swears and screams echoing through the house.

“Fuck, fuck!” Gerard howled, struggling as he was pinned down onto the floor, the ice slowly melting in his back. The coldness soon melted away into a puddle of wetness, and he stopped struggling. Alex removed his hands from Gerard’s wrists and did a victory dance.

“Yes! I fucking win!” He exclaimed, still dancing, or more like _squirming around on Gerard’s thigh-crotch area_. He needed to get the _fuck_ off.

Alex eventually quickly rolled off of him much to Gerard’s likeness for not having to pop awkward boners around, and they made their frappucinos. More like, a brown slush that really just smelled like coffee with ice cream chunks floating around. It still tasted fine.

They finally grabbed their fix of caffeine and their bags upstairs and into Alex’s room, which was of course, filled with trophies and medals and posters of Cristiano Ronaldo all over the fucking sky blue wall.

“Dude, Cristiano Ronaldo?”

“Aw yeah man, he’s my total superstar.”   
Alex grinned, after he chugged more of his drink down. “Not to mention, he’s totally hot as hell? Totally why I’m gay.”

Gerard was taken aback. “Wait… what? You’re gay?”

Alex looked at him from his drink and nodded, slowly. “I mean, I was totally joking about him being the reason I’m gay but like…” He looked unsure. “I thought you might’ve known already? Like, as I don’t try to hide it, unlike some people do but y’now. I hope you don’t mind… though?”

Gerard could not believe his ears. Alex was _gay_. Oh my god. He didn’t have to feel so wrong to have a crush on him anymore. _Fucking yay_. He could totally just jump onto his lap right now. He could totally just fucking-- _kiss him_.

“My gaydar went berserk.” He said, feeling a smile loose at his lips. “I-- me too.”

“Is that so?” Alex full-on smirked. “Well, another thing we have in common.”

Gerard felt stupidly happy. He could like someone without feeling absolutely torn about it, without feeling like he was crazy; making Ray and Bob, Mikey, his mom worried. It was so freeing.

The day went on with the two boys enjoying each other’s company and the shitty frappucinos they made together. Alex actually did some of his homework while Gerard took out his sketchbook again and doodled. His eyes didn’t linger once at the picture he drew at the field.

The sun was setting and Alex’s mom was coming home; Gerard needed to go home as well. They waved each other goodbye at the front door.

“This is pretty great,” Alex said, smiling softly. “We should do this every day.”

“I-uh, yeah.” Gerard said, smiling back. “It could be a thing.”

He could totally do it. Whatever he was worrying about earlier was gone like the sun sinking into the horizon. Life could be totally perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... this isn't one of my most satisfied chapters. Too much/absolutely none ideas = rewriting+no time = long updates+ long assed notes = 'broken up' reading experience = this story taking forever. I shall try to aim for 2 updates per month! Remember, a bit pressure for me is helpful.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter though! Comments and kudos are very appreciated. I love you all ;)))))


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard speaks out, and Mikey is quite the brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :)
> 
> I don't want to make the notes too long— I just wanna say thank you to all those who are still with me even after a small hiatus.  
> Life hasn't been the easiest, things are one after another; it's so easy to get overwhelmed.  
> I think I reflected that in this chapter, well, as much as I could.
> 
> BTW, this chapter was inspired by Gerard Way's Brother, my favorite song all time.
> 
> But, here's an update, I hope you enjoy! :)<3

For a small while, things were good.

Gerard may or may not have been swept off his feet by Alex. Alex was everywhere; brought him everywhere, like a child that dragged their ragdoll all over the place and refused to let go. It was pretty outstanding that he had the ability to just find Gerard wherever the fuck he was, so they were hardly apart. Not that Gerard minded much.

They hung out at Alex’s after every soccer practice until sunset. It had become a routine of theirs. Gerard would always be sketching on the second bench on the field when Alex was done. Heck, his grades might’ve started to slowly crawl up because Alex always studied when they were hanging out, so he also did. He managed to pass a motherfucking math quiz.

Everything was just perfect, obviously. Grades went up, and in his mother’s eyes; he seemed happier…? Well, he surely did feel happy. But of course, in all the sunshine and rainbows there was one thing that bugged Gerard. The _one_ person that _never_ ever completely left his mind. And that was Frank.

Even that Alex, and occasionally his buds Ray and Bob, greeted him at his locker every morning, Frank did too. To be ‘frank,’ he always did ever since they started school, so it shouldn’t be a big deal. But it wasn’t like anything in the past: a shove in the shoulder, a rough nudge as he passed, no. 

He had been like a ghost, passing through the hall occasionally with a friend or two, and he’d be gone as quickly as he’d appeared.

In all honesty it felt like something was _wrong_ with him. It wasn’t like Gerard had the extra time to pay special attention to him since he was always occupied with Alex, but it seemed as though… he had lost a special sort of vibe in him. If there had been some sort of force in between them it felt like it was only air now. 

Gerard had threw his trust in him and believed he would keep his promise. And by then he really was; not only the part about not hurting him but also with the part in not letting fucktards bully him. That was part of their little ‘agreement,’ yeah?

The thing is since they’ve clarified that Frank wasn’t going to punch him anymore, technically whatever relationship they had was now a blank canvas. There was a part of Gerard that had wanted to go and paint on it. Go on over and talk to him, to get to _really_ know him, considering he had the chance unlike before. 

But of course there was another thing in the way.

As time passed the occasional friend or two Frank went along with turned into someone in particular… a specific girl. Another thing was that their lockers were on a whole other side, so taking this hall where Gerard’s was to get to study hall every morning, _and_ get out of school was totally unnecessary. 

Frank took this hall every morning just to bully him. And so now since he was still taking this route, he was _still_ bullying him. Not physically of course, but emotionally.

It was totally reasonable in Gerard’s mind, and he was absolutely feeling it. Maybe he cursed a bit too much at the cracks of the tiles on the floor, that one day they’ll open up and swallow him. Maybe his emotions led to that innocent pickle flying from his lunch tray, go smack against Bob’s forehead. Maybe he slammed his locker VERY hard at Ashleigh’s new hideous bangs _brushing_ against his shoulder when she and Frank decided to walk especially close to him today when the day was over, almost hitting Alex’s nice face when he was talking about his birthday party some dude in the soccer team wanted to hold for him. Fuck, whoever did her hair did a very good job at using the finger painting techniques of a preschooler, because it even distracted him from listening to the other boy overload with excitement.

And so that probably created lots of stress for him, because he was then scribbling colors in his majestic collection of zombie sketches with broken crayons from the bottom of his bag, on Alex’s bed. Seeing that they were broken was upsetting itself, but coloring has been scientifically proven to relieve stress. Especially since this page of the living dead looked like Frank.

Gerard would admit; even though he had no more strings attached to the other guy, the fact that his face was a fucking masterpiece didn’t change. His face was structurally beautiful to sketch, and well, he’s always down on sketching anything like that. Not that he has anything to do with him. Even Ashleigh, but with the sad bird’s nest of a hair she has that day will probably never arrive. 

Though Gerard was not sure about the ‘no strings attached’ anymore, because he was fairly sure he was being bullied emotionally now.

“Alright, speak up.”

“What?” Gerard looked up from his drawings and at Alex, who had turned around in his chair at his desk where he was doing his essay. There was a sure look on his face.

“You’ve been in a _mood_.” 

“I _am_ a moody person.” Gerard muttered, defensively, remembering that was what Mikey had always told him when they were younger so technically it was true. It wasn’t helpful in getting him possibly free out of this conversation, though.

“Then you’ve been in a very distinct mood, lately,” Alex replied, eyes still firm on him. Gerard had ducked down his head to stare at his sketch of green goo gushing out of Frank’s eyes. He should add some more yellow to it. “considering you whacked Bob’s forehead with a pickle, and almost mine with the door of your locker.”

Gerard grimaced and looked up. “Sorry.” He didn’t mean to cause any harm to his friends. The pickle did snap in half, but it was most likely just a one-time thing. “How-how’d you know, though?” Alex always ate at the soccer table.

“Your friends are a bit worried,” Alex said, “so they also asked me about it. To be honest I wasn’t very ‘bright’ today so I didn’t see it myself until your locker door almost came off its hinges.”

“Why? Like why aren’t you ‘bright’ today?”

Alex leaned his chin on the top of the chair and looked a bit off to the side.

“My dad came here last night.”

Gerard felt a chill shoot down his spine, his stomach turning uncomfortably. “Oh god, why?”

Alex snorted and picked at a loose fabric on the chair, his expression showing his disapproval for his father.

“The moment he came in the wallpapers _peeled_ from his appearance. Apparently he came back with ‘legitimate’ papers saying he deserved half of what was in their shared bank account, which doesn’t even _exist_ anymore, because of their divorce. And not to mention we already gave him his part from the very first day, but he was probably too high off his ass to remember we have _nothing_ to do with him anymore.” 

“So… what happened next?”

“I rang up the police. He’s not gonna come back again.”

Gerard didn’t know what to say, or how to react. He fiddled with some of the loose papers in his sketchbook.

He felt his cheeks burn in how stupid his problem was compared to Alex’s. His friend almost had to lose an eye because of his petty life problems. The will to tell what he was troubling with crawled back down his throat.

Alex sighed a small bit, eyes softening their gaze on him.

“Look Gee, you’re _my_ very best friend. I’m just trying to say that you can tell me whatever it is, no matter how it is, and I’ll listen.”

Gerard just stared at his friend and contemplated it for a small bit. _Fuck this boy and his god-be-damned sincerity._ His thoughts came exploding out like the blood from another Frank’s mouth in the middle of the page.

“It’s… it’s about Frank.”

Alex’s face shifted for a second, but he returned to his usual stance.

“It’s alright.” Fuck.

“I just… I can’t get rid of him.” Gerard began kneading his hands furiously.

“Like what? Is he hitting you again?”

“N-no,” Gerard swallowed. “I _know_ it’s not okay but I...I...I really like him.”

-

It was days later when Gerard wanted to have his balls to the wall. 

“I fucked up so badly,” Gerard groaned into the speaker, curled on his bed in a fetal position. “I’m such an idiot.”

It was exactly what Gerard had feared would happen: Alex ignoring him. Well, hanging out with these dudes in his soccer team more than often, a.k.a hanging out at other times than lunch and practice. To this Gerard felt the biggest gap in his life and didn’t know what to do but to ring up his brother far away in derp school for his advice, despite the boy needing to prepare for his exams.

“You _are_ an idiot, that’s how you’re my brother,” Mikey’s voice drawled out on the other side of the speaker, and Gerard mumbled a ‘fuck you’ in his pillow he wasn’t entirely sure the phone could catch. “You’re living in your own fairytale again. The dude’s not around you for a few minutes in a day and you’re convinced that he’s having another guy’s babies.”

“What the fuck Mikey, when the fuck did I ever say that?”

“You were basically implying the same thing.”

“We’re _not together_ ,” Gerard rubbed his face in frustration. “He’s just—drifting away, but y’know, that’s not really it.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s that talk about Frank! I knew it was gonna have an effect on him, but I still said it anyways because he was like ‘oh I’m your friend tell me shit’ and I just blurbed it all out because it’s been killing me, I don’t want to be clingy but I need my friend back…” 

Mikey listened to his brother ramble on when he heard a sniffle at the end of it.

“Gerard,” Mikey said. “Gerard, are you crying?”

The silence and ruffling sounds that came from the other end of the phone gave away the answer.

“Gee,” Mikey sighed. His brother was such an overly sensitive person. “Look, it’s gonna be okay, alright.”

_Stop overreacting_ , he almost added. But no, because his brother was always like this, and doing anything aside from scolding him did help in past experiences.

“Just do what I’m telling you to do. Talk to him. You’ve got the courage to talk about Frank, this shouldn’t even be difficult.”

“But it was a stupid idea of talking about Frank!”

“But you’re not going to be talking about Frank now, see?” Mikey said, “you wanna find out what’s going on between the both of you.”

Gerard’s silence for a few minutes was a thinking one.

“Which in fact,”—the sound of a chip bag being opened came through—”can be easily solved with just a simple ‘what’s up?’”

“...and besides,” Mikey reasoned, now munching obnoxiously, “if he just stopped being your friend because you needed to talk about your troubles, then he isn’t the guy. Right?”

“Huh…” Gerard thought it did make some sense. “You’re like a fortune teller.”

“Totally not the point but I’ll take it.” 

Gerard then sighed.

“C’mon Gerard,” Mikey crunched through the phone. “I bet you he’s just busy. Maybe the team’s having a game soon and they just gotta have it all planned out. He’ll tell you soon.”

To this, Gerard felt a little more.convinced. _Convinced of what?_ He suddenly thought. _Alex’s not a having babies with other people?_ His mind was so fucked up.

“You got a point,” Gerard answered, doing an eye roll when he heard Mikey’s “I always have.” “I’ll go talk to him tomorrow.”

Mikey spoke with a more softer tone this time. “Go get him. Last thing though— just remember you always got me on your side, ‘kay? Don’t ever feel like there’s no one to talk to.”

“I know, Mikes, I know.” Gerard replied in an equally soft tone.

There was a small heave from the younger brother. 

“Thanks for calling me Gee, I miss you.”

“Exams a bitch?” Gerard joked.

“Always have been. It gets derpier every day. There’s not even time to sing anymore.”

“We should go back down to that place where we watched all those shows together next time you’re back,” Gerard mused. “It’ll all be just like before.”

“When all we had to worry about was not being able to get to see the stage; when all we did was make up all those different things and adventures. That would be so nice.”

That night drifted away as the boys took a trip down the memory lane, to just escape their lives, problems, and anxieties for a small while.

_Maybe this problem isn’t so big, after all._ Was the last thought in Gerard’s mind as he drifted off to sleep with the phone dead in his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One thing I gotta say is that I'm not very satisfied with this chapter, as I wrote it at very different parts of time, so I feel like it's very butchered and not smooth, but I've gotten pretty stuck. Tell me what you think! Constructive criticism is always good, as well as kudos and other comments <3<3 :)


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